Not About Angels
by TheResistanceChick
Summary: Robin's sanity is pushed to its limit when his worst nightmare comes true: his arch enemy is back, but it's not Robin he's after this time. It's Starfire.
1. Preface

A/N: Alright, so I haven't written fanfiction in a while...please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. I will try to update once a week.

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own the Teen Titans, though I sincerely wish I did.

**Warning****: **This fanfiction is rated M for a reason (violence, language, possible sexual content). Viwer discression is advised

**Summary****: **_Robin's sanity is pushed to its limit when his worst nightmare comes true: his arch enemy is back, but it's not Robin he's after this time. It's Starfire._

**Not About Angels**

_Preface_

_Robin_

She fucking terrified me.

She had this thing about her, and I wasn't exactly sure how to describe it. She had the ability to put the fear of God in you, and then turn around and become the most innocent thing you'd ever seen. She was confusing, abnormal. She wasn't typical.

But Jesus, that's why I loved her.

The way she walked, she could take on an army. She could look at you and make you pool into a puddle on the floor without even batting a damn eyelash. She didn't take any shit from anyone. Tough as nails. A full-blooded worrier.

All of that, though, wasn't what scared me shitless.

She made me feel things I had never felt before. I lived my whole life based on control of not only myself, but the people around me, too. She made me toss all that out the window. The hero disappeared. And though I would never admit it, she brought out the best in me.

The loss of control, that's what scared me.

But God those emerald eyes and that brillient red hair was enough to make me want to throw being a hero to the fucking wind and just tell her how I felt.

I wouldn't, though. And we both knew that.

I was such a fucking coward.

You know, there's a time where every man has to fight for the things they love. I never thought I would ever face that fact, because I was determined to force such a thing out of my life. Heroes don't love. I fought for people every damn day.

But because of her, I had something to fight for. Something that could be used against me.

I had two voices in my head.

I could hear Bruce. I could hear his fucking voice telling me what an idiot I was.

_"Never fall in love with anyone, especially a teammate."_

_"Never let your guard down like that. Don't give someone the opportunity to break you."_

Then I could hear my mother.

_"Richard. You deserve to be happy more than anyone on this Earth. No matter what, you will always make the right decisions. Do what makes you happy. Do what your heart says is right."_

The world does some fucked up shit to you sometimes.

Might as well go out swinging.

**A/N: Aiight, just a little sneak peek of what is to come in the future. Chapter 1 is about half way done. I'm hoping to have that up tonight as well.**

**Reviews would be lovely, and I do appreciate constructive criticism. Please be kind. **

**Chapters will be longer than this, by the way. This was just the preface.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Sierra**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, guys! I was pleased to receive a review after 15 minutes of publishing the preface! RICHRDxJHNxGRYSN YOU ROCK! You guys are awesome! I hope you all like the first chapter. Starting a story is always the hardest part. I hope I can keep your attention!**

**Chapter 2 should be up sometime next week! I will try for Wednesdays.**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans. I will hate myself forever because of it.

**Warning**: This fanfiction is rated M for a reason. Just be careful. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Enjoy!

_Chapter 1_

_Starfire_

I awoke to the smell of pancakes.

I still had not grown accustomed to the smell. It was something, though such a simple thing, I had come to love so much. The smell made me feel comfortable. I knew today was going to be glorious.

I glanced at the clock and smiled. It was 6:00 am, which meant the sun was at its highest. I would be able to recharch in the sunlight while I awaited my beloved cakes of pan to be prepared. I simply could not wait.

I climbed out of bed and slipped out of my pajamas. I quickly combed through my hair and pulled on my typical uniform. I walked out of my room and up the stairs to the roof.

The roof was easily my favorite place in Titans Tower. The sun shined brilliently in the clear blue sky. I sighed in contentment as I sprawled out on the floor and let my legs dangle off the edge of the tower. Why did I not find the amazing planet of Earth sooner? I closed my eyes and let the rays of the sun soak into my skin. The warm summer sun brought the bumps of geese to my arms and my exposed stomach. I could not help but smile at the feeling.

I could hear the door to the roof open and then close but I was too overwhelmed with the warmth of the sun on my skin to notice much. I was faintly aware that someone was with me, although I was certain that I already knew who it was. My visitor quietly sat down beside me.

"Good morning," I said in a small voice. "I trust you slept well?"

"I did," he replied. "Did you?"

I simply nodded in response. I could hear him chuckle under his breath.

"Cy's making pancakes," he said.

When he mentioned the cakes of pan, I had to open my eyes to look at him. His hair was a little messy from sleep, and he wore his uniform. His lips were curled up into his infamous crooked smile, and his signature mask was plastured on his face.

Robin.

"Oh, I am aware!" I exclaimed, sitting up and wrapping my arms around my legs. "I awoke to the smell of them this morning!"

He laughed and leaned back on his hands.

"I figured," he said. "You love them."

"I do."

"Well then," he said, pushing up from the floor of the roof. He stood above me and held out his hand to me. "Come on, let's eat."

I gazed up at the man above me. He was no longer the boy that I had met almost 5 years ago. He was taller, older, wiser. Yet he still managed to make me melt whenever he looked at me. I smiled and gladly took his hand and let him help me to my feet.

We walked together to the kitchen. The rest of our friends were already seated at the table with plates in front of them. A big plate of pancakes was sitting in the center of the table. I was already drooling, anticipating the taste.

"We couldn't start without ya!" Cyborg said, putting two plates side by side at the table for Robin and I.

"Yeah, but hurry! I'm _starving_!" Beast Boy complained, rubbing his stomach for emphesis.

"Shut up, Beast Boy," Raven mumbled, picking up her herbal tea and bringing it to her lips. "You've already eaten a pound of your tofu bacon _and_ about twenty five pop-tarts. It's hard to believe you're _still_ hungry."

"Uh, twenty _three _pop-tarts, Rae. But who's counting?" Beast Boy responded crossing his arms, a smile plastering his face.

"You're an idiot."

"I love it when you call me by your mother's pet names."

"Shut up."

"Okay, Rae. I love you too."

Raven rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to the book she was reading.

Robin and I sat down at the table and ate our breakfast without a word. I would occasionally peek out from underneath my lashes to look at him: his flawless skin, his toned chest. A shiver made its way through my body.

How could a man make me feel this way?

The world made it very clear that we were not allowed to be together. We were teammates and nothing more. I understood. We were each other's greatest weaknesses. We would be lost without one another. Robin was my best friend, and though it pained me greatly to admit it, that was all he would ever be.

But sometimes the way he looked at me...

I was _his_. I was not just his friend or his collegue, I was _his_. He would look at me in such a way that I would feel as if I belonged to someone. And though I knew it could never be, there was still that ignorant sense of hope that stayed hidden in my heart.

Maybe one day we could be together.

Our marvellous breakfast was cut short by the sound of the alarm. Everyone shot sorrowful glances to each other. It was hard to fit in "normal" activities throughout our day. We were no longer facing the petty criminals of our past. We were now facing murderers, rapists, drug addicts. The criminals that had found their way into our beloved Jump City and turned it up-side-down. We were out of the tower most of the time.

Robin sighed and rose from his position next to me.

"Trouble," he said, deflated.

"What is it this time?" Beast Boy asked, sounding almost angry as we all made our way to the common room. "Druggie? Rapist?"

Robin's fingers flew accross the keyboard. He looked so tired. He had not been sleeping well due to the countless hours he would stay awake researching. It was not good for him.

"I am sure it is the usual, yes?" I asked, hesitant. I did not want to interrupt his train of thought.

"I'm sure," he mumbled, still typing.

He stopped and looked up at the screen, a red arrow indicating the coordinents of the criminals.

"Two men cornering a woman downtown," Robin explained, turning. "They have weapons. We better get going."

"Let's go," Cyborg said, running to the stairs to the roof. We all followed silently.

Raven took off levetating almost immediately. Beast Boy transformed into a pterodactyl and grabbed onto Cyborg's shoulders and took to the sky not far behind her.

I felt Robin's hand lace soothingly around mine. I looked into his masked eyes, and felt a sense of pleasure when I saw him smile brightly at me.

"Let's fly," he said.

I nodded and floated into the air.

We glided through the sky with ease, following quietly behind the rest of the team. Robin did not say anything, and honestly I did not want him to. I was caught up in my own thoughts.

Before I knew it, we were slowly descending towards the ground. I dropped Robin on the pavement and landed on my feet beside him.

"Okay, guys. Stay close. These guys have weapons but their target isn't us just yet. Get the girl out of here before she gets hurt," Robin said.

We all nodded in agreement. I started to walk away when Robin's hand gripped my wrist gently. I turned to look at him with a questioning expression.

"Be careful, Star," he whispered. "Stay behind me."

I wanted to protest, but there was a life at stake. There was no time for an argument so silly. I just nodded and complied, slipping into the shadows behind my masked hero.

It was not long before we heard the screams of the woman being attacked. I felt my body become rigid. I very much hated the idea of rape. It made me very upset and I usually got very terrifying nightmares after events like what we were about to experience. The high pitched scream was attacking my eardrums and I had to cover my ears in response. Robin placed a hand on the small of my back for comfort.

Something was not right. Granted, criminals struck at all times of the day, but rape crimes usually never happened until the sun went down. Why was a rape crime happening at 8 in the morning?

"Titans, get ready," Robin said.

I complied, as did the rest of our teammates. Robin pulled out his staff and held it accross our bodies. He turned his face to me.

"Stay close," he whispered.

I nodded.

"Okay, Titans," he said. "3, 2, 1...Now!"

We revealed ourselves to the gunmen, who were pointing their weapons at the quivering girl on the ground.

"Freeze!" Cyborg yelled. "Put your hands where we can see them. Drop your weapons!"

The men just laughed, their shoulders moving up and down. Their faces were hidden by the hood they were wearing. They payed no attention to Cyborg's voice.

"We're warning you," Beast Boy chimed in. "Drop them now, and you won't get hurt."

Again, the thugs payed no attention to them. They just kept their guns pointed at the terrified girl.

I was getting very upset and angry. Why were they not afraid? It did not make sense. My eyes started to glow green and I could feel starbolts generating around my fists.

"Listen, you _bobsnar_," I growled. "I suggest you put your weapons down and do with the putting of your hands in the air before we stop being nice."

To my voice, they turned. Their guns were no longer pointed at the girl, who Raven had wrapped up in her energy and teleported somewhere safe.

They were pointed at me.

"Boss, we've got her," said one of the men into his arm. "One's gone to take care of the decoy. Four total. We'll probably need backup."

Decoy?

Before I knew it, I was pushed against the wall by Robin, my sight of the men being blocked by his sturdy shoulders.

"Put your fucking guns down," he spat. "Don't make me say it again."

"I'm afraid we can't do that, kid," said the other man. "We have specific orders we need to follow. Give us the girl and we'll go peacefully."

"Fuck you," Robin responded.

"Alright. I gave you the option," he answered, getting ready to fire the gun at Robin.

Beast Boy tackled him to the ground. As a tiger, he was much bigger than the man and could easily pin him to the ground. While Beast Boy was doing this, Cyborg blasted the other man with his sonic cannon, leaving him unconscious on the floor of the alleyway.

"What the hell do they want with Star?" Cyborg asked.

"I don't know, but I can't wait to find out," Robin responded, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me from the wall I was pushed against.

"Well, well, well," a deep, terrifyingly familiar voiced cooed at us. "I see you haven't changed a bit."

All of our heads snapped towards the voice.

I gasped in horror. It couldn't be so, it couldn't be. There was no possible way.

But in the end, it all made sense. The strange timing, the decoy, the two armed men.

Robin's eyes widened with disbelief. He quickly hid the look of shock on his face with the expression of pure hatred and fury.

"Slade," he growled through his teeth. "What do you want?"

"Nothing that concerns you, my boy," Slade responded, stepping closer to us. "I have no interest in you anymore."

He turned to look at me, his eyes traveling up and down my figure. I shivered in response.

"No, nothing at all to do with you," he repeated slowly, nodding his head in my direction. "I'm here for the girl."

**A/N: Dun dun DUN! Haha, like you all didn't see that one coming. Well, I hope you all enjoyed the first official chapter. I will be trying to alternate chapters between Robin and Starfire's point of view. Let me know if you have any ideas that may benefit this story, or if you have a preference to which point of view you like better. At the end of this story I may or may not take requests to re-write chapters in different points of views.**

**Chapter 2 should be up by Wednesday!**

**Have a great weekend, everyone!**

**-Sierra**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, you guys rock! Thank you for the reviews I have received so far. I truly am very happy that I have gotten any at all! I was very pleasantly surprised! I'm sorry about the late update. Although it is only about an hour late, it is still technically Thursday. So therefore, I am late. I am really sorry and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me *crying*. Haha. I will try to respond to your reviews as soon as I can. With college and work and the band, things can get pretty hectic. But I promise I will try to keep the updates as promised! Hopefully chapter 2 will make you happy!**

**Disclaimer:** I still do not own the Teen Titans. I do own a shirt, however, that has the Teen Titans on it. I purchased it at Hot Topic. I almost peed when I found it. I am wearing it right now, actually. My sister made a point to tell me how entertaining it was to see me write a Teen Titans fanfiction while wearing a Teen Titans shirt. I don't see what's so funny...it seems appropriate to me.

**Warning:** Please, children, for your own safety do not continue reading. There will be language, boy thoughts, sexual interactions, violence, and more. Please. Just don't. Okay.

_Chapter 2_

_Robin_

I couldn't believe what I was fucking hearing.

Words couldn't describe the fury that was building up inside me. Slade was back. He was back, and I didn't know about it. How the hell did I miss that?

It didn't matter. He was here now, and he wanted to take away the most important thing to me. He wanted to take the thing that I would gladly spend the rest of my life protecting.

I tried my hardest to show the world that my feelings for Starfire were nothing more than friendship. I swear to God I tried. But it's so fucking hard. It's hard to pretend you don't love someone when they're all you think about every second of every fucking day. It's the hardest thing in the damn world, to sit there and make believe that I don't want to hold her and love her and throw myself in front of a fucking bullet for her. But I tried, anyway, to keep her safe. To keep her away from situations like this.

I was such an idiot.

My instincts told me to guard her, to shield her from the bastard in front of us. He wasn't getting anywhere near her. He'd have to kill me first. I extended my arm in front of her, resting my other hand on my belt just in case he tried to make a move.

"You're out of your fucking mind, Slade," I spat at him. "You're not taking Starfire anywhere."

He laughed at me. The asshole fucking laughed at me. Did he think this was some sort of joke?

I could hear Starfire whimper behind me. He was scaring her, and that just made me all the more furious.

"I'm afraid you have no say in the matter, Robin," Slade cooed at me. "You know better than anyone that I always get my way."

I gritted my teeth and held back a growl. Starfire gently brushed her fingers against my rigid back, an action to try to get me to calm down. I tried to relax a bit for her.

"Not this time, Slade," I said. "Whatever you're planning, I suggest you call it quits now. If you don't, I promise you, you'll regret it."

"Your threats don't scare me, little boy," Slade said.

I was about to retort when Starfire spoke.

"Please," she started, her voice shaking. Come on, Star. I taught you not to do that. You're letting him know you're scared. Be strong for me.

Slade looked at her.

"I do not know what it is you want, Slade," she said, her voice a bit stronger. "I do not wish to find out. You have tormented us long enough. Please, just leave us alone. I will not go anywhere with you."

Slade chuckled.

"Oh, my dear Starfire," he said slowly. "You don't have a choice."

I stepped forward and pulled out my bird-a-rangs, getting ready to fucking decapitate his worthless waste of a body. No one talked to Starfire that way, absolutely no one. I wouldn't let it happen.

"Dude," Beast Boy said. I had forgotten he was here. "Stop. It's not worth it. Let's just kick his sorry ass and he'll leave us alone."

"He will never leave us alone," I snapped at him.

"But-"

Beast Boy was cut off by Slade's scream. He was engulffed in black energy, and then pinned to the nearest brick wall. His body was contorting and twisting, trying to escape.

Raven soon appeared, morphing out of the wall next to Slade.

"Don't you dare move," she warned.

Slade laughed and somehow moved just enough to activate something on his arm. Then he had the nerve to repeat the words he had said to me once before.

"Another day, Robin," he said, his body glowing white. "Another day."

Then he was gone.

"Dude, what the hell just happened?" Beast Boy asked, running up to me.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. How the fuck could I let this happen? Why did I let him get under my skin? The one person on this Earth that I hated with every fiber of my being slipped underneath my nose and is now threatening the person that meant everything to me. I couldn't even contain my anger.

"Slade's back," Raven said. "He's back, and he wants Starfire."

I glanced over at Starfire.

She looked terrified. Her green eyes were looking at the ground, her hands shaking slightly. He was fucking scaring her. I was going to kill him.

"I do not know what he wants with me," she whispered. "I mearly wish for him to leave us alone."

The sad tone of her voice made me want to hunt him down and slaughter him right then and there. I wanted to take her into my arms and tell her I would protect her. That I would keep her safe. I wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her until she forgot about this whole thing. I wanted to show her and tell her so many things.

But I couldn't.

"Star, it's Slade. He's lookin' to tear us apart. He's already hit Robin, Rae, and Terra. He's bound to try to hit you, too," Cyborg said, playfully hitting her shoulder. "But now we know that and there's no way in hell we're letting that happen."

She placed a fake smile on her face as she nodded at Cyborg.

"Yeah," Beast Boy added. "We know what to expect, and he's not getting his hands on you."

"Thank you, friends. I really do appreciate the kind words," Starfire said. "Please, can we go home now?"

"Of course we can," Raven said. "Let's go."

Everyone started off and Starfire extended a hand to me. I couldn't just go home and pretend this never happened. I needed to talk to her, and with the others starting to leave, I had to do it before we left.

"Star," I started.

She looked at me from underneath her eyelashes. Jesus, I loved it when she did that.

"Yes?" She asked, hesitant.

"Look, Star, I know Slade scared you. I know this is hard. But I promise, he will never even get close to you." I said.

She smiled at me. God, that smile. It could light up anyone's life.

"Robin, I know that I am safe with you."

"Good, Star. I just wanted you to know that we will always be there for you. There's no way we're letting you out of our sight until we find Slade and stop him."

She nodded and reached for my hand again. This time I let her gently lift me into the air. As we flew, I looked up at the goddess above me.

I lived in such a fucking messed up world. I couldn't be with the woman I loved because I was a hero. I save lives, hell I've saved the fucking world. But I can't be happy.

Seems fair, right?

She was absolutely perfect in every way possible. She had that long, luscious red hair and those drop-dead gorgeous green sparkling eyes. She had that fucking laugh. That laugh made every problem in my world disappear instantly. Her flawless skin, her long sexy legs. The little dimple that would appear on her cheek every time she smiled. I could go on for fucking hours about how perfect she was. And I couldn't have her.

I could never have her.

What the hell did Slade want with her? What was he planning? I knew as soon as I got home I would probably lock myself in my room until I found some answers, but I knew that Starfire would hurt even more because of that. I had to try to be there for her.

Before I knew it, we were hovering over the roof of the tower. She gently placed me on the floor and landed softly beside me without a world. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes. She looked so deflated.

I hated seeing her like this.

"Star," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes, and fresh tears started streaming down her beautiful face.

God, Star. Please don't cry.

"I am sorry, Robin," she sniffled, trying to turn away. "I know it is not right to cry, but I am frightened. I know what Slade did to you and Raven. The two of you were strong enough to break away from him. Terra was not until the very end. She is gone because of that."

"Shh," I soothed, pulling her to my chest. "It won't get that far. He won't be able to get to you at all."

"He knows us, Robin. He watches our every move. He will find a way to-"

"No he won't."

"I am just worried that I will not be as strong as you or Raven were," she said shakily into my shirt. "I am afraid I will have the same fate as Terra. Maybe even worse."

"Don't talk like that, Star," I whispered. "You are the strongest one out of all of us."

"I am not. I am crying like an infant."

I chuckled.

"Star, it's okay to be scared. It's natural. But you have nothing to be scared about. We will all work together to protect you. I promise."

She looked up at me with those amazing eyes and I almost just said "fuck it" and kissed her. I almost pinned her to the fucking floor and made love to her right there in the open. God knows I wanted to. She was so damn innocent. She wanted nothing more than for her friends to be happy. She never really cared about herself. Even then, I could tell she was more concerned about us not getting enough sleep staying up all night being on guard than she was with Slade being after her. She was an angel.

"Thank you, Robin," she said.

"Don't thank me," I smiled at her. "Let's get you inside."

We headed to the door to the roof and I couldn't help but be mesmorized by the way she walked. The way her hips swayed put me into a trance. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her, and I never thought I would say that about anyone. I never thought I would want to touch someone as much as I wanted to touch her, or fight for anyone was much as I was willing to fight for her.

I never thought I'd fall in love with anyone like I was falling in love with her.

Slade didn't want to even think about fucking with her. If he did, there was no doubt in my mind that I would kill him. He could try to take away my home, my city, my team. But I wouldn't let him get near her.

Love does some crazy shit to you. It's like suddenly, she's all you see. You look at her, and you couldn't imagine life without her. The thought of her getting hurt rips a fucking hole in your heart the size of the Grand Canyon. The way she looks at you makes you melt instantly. She's all you want to see when you wake up, and all you want to see when you fall asleep. She's the thing that keeps your fucking world turning, and the thing that gives you a reason to keep trying every single day. She's the one who brings out the best in you and the one who believes in every fucking mistake you make. Without her, you're absolutely nothing.

Why couldn't I just fucking tell her?

Slade knew all of this, though. He knew how I felt about her. I must have let my guard down because he read me like a damn book. He was trying to use her to get to me, I knew it. He found the way to take me down, to finally break me enough to stop me for good.

He was going to try to take Starfire away from me.

There was no fucking way that was happening.

As I held the door open for her, I watched her pass me with that damn smile of hers and I knew right then and there that I was going to protect her with everything I had.

I didn't care. I'd fucking kill him if I had to.

The team knew that, I knew that. I'm sure the world knew that.

"Robin, are you coming?" Starfire asked me.

I snapped out of my trance and smiled at her.

"Yeah, Star, I'm coming."

I walked beside her until we came to her room. She turned to face me as her door opened. I had to remind myself to keep breathing. She was so fucking beautiful.

"You are certain he will not come for me tonight?" She asked.

I nodded.

"I'm positive," I answered.

She yawned. The cutest fucking thing I'd ever seen in my life.

"Alright. Thank you, Robin," she said, leaning in to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her. I never wanted to let her go.

"Anytime," I whispered.

"I wish you the dreams of sweetness," she said, pulling away. "I will see you in the morning."

"You can count on it."

She smiled and turned to walk into her room. It was the saddest moment of my fucking life to watch that door close between us.

I sighed and started walking to my room. I was so consumed with my own throughts that I barely heard the sound of running just around the corner.

Then I saw Raven running toward me. She stopped in front of me, gasping for air. She was trying to say something, but the words weren't clear enough for me to make anything out.

"Raven, take it easy," I said. "Catch your breath. What is it?"

She looked at me with a horrified expression. There were glittering tears in her violet eyes. She took a couple deep breaths and then said the words that changed everything.

"We tracked Slade," she said. "He's inside the tower."

**A/N: Well there's chapter 2. I really do enjoy writing in Robin's POV. It's very refreshing. Plus I get to say the word "fuck" a lot. Haha. I hope you liked it! Again, sorry about the late update. My boyfriend was hell beant on recording vocals today so I had to go. But I will have chapter 3 up by next Wednesday for sure. Have a great week, everyone! Remember, reviews are much appreciated! Peace out.**

**-Sierra**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello, lovelies! Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and favorites! It really means a lot to me. I'm glad you're enjoying ****_Not About Angels _****so far! Keep the awesome reviews coming! I hope Chapter 3 makes you all as happy as the previous chapters have! Thank you all so much for being...well...YOU!**

**Before I forget, I'm going to be adding the Preface to Chapter 1 eventually, because it's really annoying me how it has a #3 next to Chapter 2. Haha.**

**Enjoy Chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own the Teen Titans. I would if I could. If I owned the Teen Titans, this whole _Teen Titans Go _business would never have happened.

**Warning****: **Children, your parents would not approve of you reading this. So don't. Okay. This chapter has a little of the content that makes this story rated M, so be warned. Please be cautious, this chapter includes the attempt of rape and molestation. It is NOT suitable for children, and written for mature audiences only.

_Chapter 3_

_Starfire_

It felt magnificent to just fall into a deep sleep. With everything that had happened that day, it did not take long to drift into a welcomed slumber. I believe it is called _"I was out as soon as my pillow hit my head_".

Sleep was good for me, it was how I healed myself both physically and emotionally. My body needed some emotional healing, so sleep was natural.

Dreams did not come in my healing slumbers...it was just darkness. It was as if my body was floating in the nothingness of the darkness that filled my mind. It was always like that.

But even in my sleep, I could tell something was very wrong.

The majority of my mind was lost in the warm, dark, inviting healing sleep. But there was a part of my mind that was still lingering in reality. It was as the humans called being _"half asleep". _Part of me was on the lookout, being defensive.

That was when I heard my window open.

Naturally, it is very hard to awaken from a healing sleep. My body did not want to cooperate with the part of my mind that was awake, screaming to wake up. I could not even open my eyes. My head dangled off the edge of my circular bed, my body completely limp. I could still hear them, though. Whoever was in my room had a reason for sneaking in. The small part of my mind that was awake scrambled for explanations. Disoriented and confused, the answer should have come much quicker than it did. But it took several moments, as I listened to footsteps gradually getting closer to my bed, for me to figure out who was in my room.

Then it came to me.

Slade.

I tried to scream, but my body would not allow it. My mind was spinning and protesting, but I could not move. I was defenseless. I could not call for help. I could not call for Robin.

Robin.

He would be so angry with me, for not being able to defend myself. He would be so worried and frantic and try so hard to locate me. Slade would win again.

I heard banging on my door.

_Please_, my head screamed. _Please, hurry._

I heard Slade chuckle beside me. He kneeled down so that he was level with my head. I felt his breath on my neck and I shivered. I still could not say anything, could not do anything.

"It looks like your friends know I'm in the tower," he whispered huskily. "We will have to move faster than I planned. But that just makes it all the more fun."

The banging on my door continued, growing more frantic as the seconds ticked by.

Slade laughed again, the fury inside me building and almost bubbling to the surface.

"I don't plan on taking you tonight, my dear," he said quietly. I could hear him stand, his voice growing distant. "Tonight, I simply wanted to have fun."

Fun? What did he mean?

"You see," he started. "Robin will be quite thankful that I did not take you. But he will be just as crushed when he finds out what my intentions for you tonight are."

I was still so confused. I wanted nothing more than to awaken and make him pay for wanting to hurt Robin in any way. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt us so many times.

I felt a hand on my ankle. It worked its way up to my knee, then my thigh.

Oh no.

"Starfire!" I heard Robin yell, his fists beating the door. "Starfire, please! Open the door!"

I could not move, I could not speak. The healing sleep was doing what it was designed to do, keep me immobile. Keep me in one place until I was healed. I was paralyzed.

"It seems Robin is here," Slade whispered, his hand playing with the hem of my skirt. "Shall I invite him in and make him watch what I am about to do to you?"

I could feel the warm tears welling in my eyes and leaking out of my closed eyelids. I felt them run down my cheeks, probably staining the covers as they landed on them.

"Starfire!"

Slade laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my body up into a sitting position. I heard something click, and then lips were being crushed onto mine. I could not fight him, though I tried so hard. I was lifeless, and I could feel and hear everything he was doing and saying.

When he pulled away from me, he started kissing at my neck and down to my collarbone.

"It's a good thing I knew how you were going to be in a healing sleep when I arrived," he said in between kisses. "This way, you can't fight me. It makes it so easy."

Apparently, he did not keep his voice down low enough, because Robin screamed on the other side of the door.

"He's in there! He's in her room! Help! Guys, we have to get in there! HE'S IN THERE!"

Suddenly, the door crash open. I was suddenly dropped onto my back on my bed, and I heard the clicking noise again.

"Slade!" Robin yelled. "Get the fuck away from her!"

I could only imagine the scene that was played out in front of him. I was limp on my bed, my lips swollen from them being attacked. I could feel the bite marks on my neck. I knew my skirt was pulled up slightly and my hair was a mess. Robin was going to be absolutely furious.

I could tell he took in the scene when he spoke.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" He sounded broken.

"It seems obvious now, doesn't it, Robin?" I heard Slade say, sounding amused.

"No," Robin said, his voice curt. "No, you didn't."

"Oh, but I did," Slade responded. "And it was so easy. She is in a healing sleep, something that her kind do when they need to heal after physical or emotional strain. She cannot awaken until she is healed. She had no idea what was going on, Robin. She was very cooperative."

He was lying! He did touch me, yes. He did kiss me. But he did not rape me. He violated my personal space and did so when he knew I could not defend myself, but he did not have sex with me. Why was making Robin believe he did such a thing?

There was a deafening silence in the room, then. There was not a word. It gave me time to think about what had happened. If Robin had not heard Slade and entered the room, would Slade have raped me?

That was his intention. He wanted to break Robin.

He did not wish to take me tonight. He wished to do the unthinkable to me, and he wanted Robin to catch him doing it. Robin caught him too soon, however, so Slade was lying. Slade was trying to convince Robin that he had raped me. And by the silence, I could tell that by the look of my body, Robin believed him.

It was so wrong.

I wanted to scream. To wake up and tell Robin what really happened. I wanted to make Slade pay for violating me in the ways he did. I wanted to do or say something. Anything.

But I could not.

Instead, I just listened to the unbearable silence that had fallen in my room.

It seemed like eternity, but finally, Robin spoke.

"You..." he trailed off. "You...raped her?"

Slade's laugh cut through the air like a knife.

"I did, Robin," Slade said after his laughter. "I took away her innocence. And the best part is, she let me do it."

Robin was silent again for a moment. Tears slid down my face.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Robin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Try it, Robin," Slade said. "Do it right now. Come on."

More silence. What was going on?

"I didn't think so," Slade said. I heard his footsteps come closer to me. He took some of my hair in his fingers and I heard him inhale.

"Get away from her," Robin growled.

Slade chuckled and breathed in my ear.

"I'll be back, my dear," he whispered. "I'm not done with you yet."

Suddenly, there was a loud cracking noise. I heard Slade scream and fall on the floor next to me. He was breathing heavily.

"Don't you ever fucking touch her again," Robin warned. "I swear to God, Slade, I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Maybe another time, Robin," Slade responded.

"You're not going anywhe-"

"Ta ta!" Slade interrupted him.

More silence.

Slade was gone.

He got away.

Robin suddenly let out a scream, kicking something into the wall. I heard more things thrown and smashed and then finally, I heard him fall to his knees beside me.

He took my hand in his and held it to his lips. I could feel little wet drops connect with my skin. He was broken, his sobs tearing through his chest. His body was shaking with the loud cries he was letting out. He truly did not believe I was awake. There was no way Robin would share this side of himself with any of us.

Except, maybe me...

"I'm so...so...sorry..." he cried into my hand. "Star...pl-please. Forgive m-me."

I wanted nothing more in that moment to comfort him and hold him in my arms and tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him I was the okay, and that we would defeat Slade together. I wanted to tell him that he did not need to cry for me.

"I will make him p-pay," he said. "I promise. He will pay for w-what he did to you."

Of that, I had no doubt.

Robin sobbed again, his arm wrapping around my stomach. He buried his head in my hair, and whispered constant apologies in my ear.

_Oh, Robin, it is not your fault..._

Eventually he stopped and fell silent. I assumed he cried himself into slumber. He did not leave my side, however. He stayed with me for the rest of the night, and I did not mind at all. His arm over me protectively, his deep breaths on my neck soothing the rest of my mind into healing sleep. I willed the resistant part of my mind to sleep, so that I could awaken and tell Robin the truth.

The world slowly faded away, and I was completely engulfed into the comfortable blackness that I was supposed to be in from the beginning.

Robin's tired, sleep coated voice was the last thing I heard before my world went away.

"I love you, Star."

**A/N: OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH! ROBIN ADMITTED HIS LOVE FOR STARFIRE IN HIS SLEEP AS HE THOUGHT SHE COULDNT HEAR HIM BECAUSE SHE WAS IN HER HEALING SLEEP. OH. MY. GOSH. Hahahahaha, it was bound to happen. **

**Well, that's chapter 3! Sorry it was a little shorter than the last chapter. It had to end there. I didn't want to add pointless things just to make it longer. I hope you all liked it! Originally, it wasn't going to go this rout. But as I was writing it, it sort of just happened. I thought that, besides killing Starfire, the worst thing Slade could do to Robin would be violating her in the worst way possible.**

**Guys, seriously, rape and molestation are serious issues. If anything like this happens to you, please go see someone and go straight to the police. Rape crimes happen every day to both men and women, and it is very important to be as careful as you possibly can. Protect yourselves. Be safe and be careful. It is something that really hits me hard. It was extremely hard to write about it.**

**Stay tuned for Chapter 4! It will be up next Wednesday! I'm already eager to post it. Thanks for reading!**

**-Sierra**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey, guys! I just wanted to tell you that you guys rock! I am really glad that you're all enjoying ****_Not About Angels_****. I'm starting to get really proud of it! I have so many ideas, so I promise there will be other stories in the future, and maybe even a sequal to this if I feel it is possible! I hope you enjoy chapter 4!**

**Please forgive me for the late update. This week consists of college, work at Dunkin', band practice, my birthday, and a gig. Plus today was supposed to be my day off but you know...stuff happens. I have been mucho busyo...so this is a Thursday and not a Wednesday update. I'm truly sorry!**

**Disclaimer****: **I don't own the Teen Titans...I am sorry.

**Warning****: **RATED M FOR A REASON. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Enjoy!

_Chapter 4_

_Robin_

I swear to fucking God, I was going to kill him. Murder him. Beat him until there was nothing left. He was going to pay for what he had done.

The world dropped from underneath me at the sight of her. Her lips were puffy, her neck littered with bite marks. Her hair was tangled and her clothes tampered with. I would remember that sight forever: the sight of Starfire after she had been raped. Her innocence taken away by the fucking scumbag who wanted to break me down more than anyone on this planet. Her eyes closed, peacefully drifting away into her healing sleep. She had no idea what had happened to her. He had violated her while she was defenseless.

What a sick fucking bastard.

I couldn't control myself. I let my emotions get the best of me in that moment, and I let him get away. He slipped out into the darkness of the night and I was left crying on the fucking floor. Sobs ripped through my chest and I blamed myself. It was all my fucking fault.

I left her alone. I left her unable to defend herself, and this is what happened.

The anger was unbearable. To think he would ever do that so someone so innocent, someone so eager to save lives and thought of everyone else before herself. I almost convulsed and puked right on the fucking floor when he told me he raped her. The image of it was enough to drive me completely insane. I was angry at the rest of my team, though I knew I shouldn't be. I yelled for them, but they didn't hear me. I had sent them all on different floors to search for Slade after Raven told me he was in the tower. I was angry at myself because I should have broken down the fucking door sooner. I should have called them on the communicator. I should have just went into her fucking room with her. I knew she was scared, and I just let her go anyway.

It was the heartbreaking sadness that broke me, though. My heart crumbling into pieces as I saw her eyes closed, completely unaware. My tears came before I could stop them. I couldn't help it. The only thing I could think to do was break something, and when that didn't work, I decided to beg.

I begged her to forgive me for failing her. I promised her I would make him pay. His days were numbered, that fucking prick. As soon as I knew she was okay, I would go looking for him, and he would fucking die.

I sat there beside her for hours until I fell asleep, my face buried in her hands. When my mind finally drifted away, I dreampt of the whole scene over again, reliving the fucking hell of the reality I had just witnessed.

I couldn't wait to get my hands on him.

When I finally woke up, she was still there, sound asleep beside me. Her chest slowly rising and falling, her eyes closed. The bite marks on her neck were more prominent now, red and risen on her tan skin. It broke my heart to see her this way.

I could not leave her. I refused. I would not leave her alone again after what happened.

My eyes grazed her body, bile rising in my throat. I would be lying to myself if I said that I wasn't mad partially because I wanted to be the one that Starfire gave herself to. On her own terms. I wanted to be the one to claim her innocence just as much as I wanted her to be the one to claim mine. I constantly daydreamed about what it would be like to lose myself with her and give her absolutely everything I could possibly give. I wanted to look into her eyes as we made love for the first time, tell her I loved her and that I would protect her from anything and everything that this awful fucking world would throw her way.

That was the problem, though. I couldn't promise her that. I already proved that I couldn't protect her from everything, no matter how hard I tried.

Fuck, I couldn't even tell her how I felt about her.

I gently ran my fingers through her hair to untangle it. I placed my hands on her neck, feeling the risen marks beneath my fingers.

How could he do this to her?

I knew why. Of course I knew why. I was trained to know all the possible answers to everything. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. It absolutely fucking killed me.

He did it to get to me. And it worked.

I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth. I ran a hand through my hair and stood up quickly. I needed to find the others, let them know what was going on. It was strange that they didn't hear all the commotion, but not impossible. I placed my mask back on my face and took out my communicator.

"Robin," Raven said, sounding relieved. "You're in her room. She's okay, right? We looked everywhere and we couldn't find him. He disappeared."

I fought the instinct to let my face show how miserable I was. I was dying inside, but I had to look strong. For my team. For Starfire.

"Just come here, " I said. "I need to speak to you all."

"But-"

"Please, Raven," I said, and then hung up.

Within minutes they were at Starfire's door, giving me questioning looks. Raven looked at Starfire and then suddenly everything snapped into place for her. Being an empath, she took in my hidden emotions and probably Starfire's, too. Her eyes turned red and she encased the whole room in her black energy, blinding me. I heard Beast Boy screaming, and Raven was chanting things in a language I didn't understand.

"Raven!" I yelled. "Stop! I need to talk to you all. Please. Calm down!"

"You're one to talk," Raven snapped. "You're planning his murder in your mind right now. And you already know for a fact that you're actually going to follow through with it."

I couldn't deny that.

"Just listen to me," I begged.

Slowly, the room started to come back. Her eyes became her natual violet and she fell to the floor, Beast Boy catching her before she hit the ground. Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to escape. She could feel all of my emotions inside of her, as well as Starfire's. She must have been miserable.

"What's going on?" Cyborg asked. "What happened?"

I took a deep breath and sat down next to Starfire on her bed. I ran my fingers against her cheek...her skin was so soft. She was so fucking beautiful.

"Robin," Raven said. I could hear the pain in her voice. "Did he really do it?"

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Oh my God," she whimpered, turning her face into Beast Boy's chest.

"What did he do?" Beast Boy asked, his voice growing angry and protective. "What did he do to Star?"

I exhaled and looked at them.

"He raped her."

There was silence.

Then there was not.

"He...what?" Cyborg asked, his tone disbelieving.

"Slade...he raped her. He did...and I wasn't fast enough to stop it." My voice broke.

His fist collided with the wall, smashing a huge hole through it. Raven's sobs became louder as she heard the words leave my mouth. Beast Boy stared at me, his mind off somewhere else. His arms tightened around Raven.

"I'm going to kill that no good piece of shit," Cyborg said, growing angrier by the second. My heart swelled just a little, understanding completely what he was feeling.

"Why would he do this to Star?" Beast Boy asked, his voice small. "What did she ever do? She is nothing but nice to everyone."

"He wants to break Robin," Raven answered for me. "This is the only way he knows how. He's tried everything else. And this what he figured would be the last final attempt."

Beast Boy looked at me.

"Did it work?" He asked me, looking at the ground. "Did he break you?"

I swallowed hard, my eyes averting to the sleeping beauty beside me. My eyes filled with tears and I had to force back my sobs so that I could answer him. I didn't want to admit it to myself. I hated being so fucking weak and powerless. He did break me. He fucking won. He hurt her, and by God he was going to fucking die for it. I nodded as my sobs finally got the best of me.

"Yes."

I broke down again, my head in my hands. I cried. Not for myself and my ego. But for Starfire. I cried for letting her down and failing her. I cried for her condition.

When I looked up, they were gone. They wanted to let me have my moment, in which I was sincerely grateful.

I turned to take her into my arms, buring my face into her neck. She was limp and motionless, but her heartbeat was strong and it calmed me down a little.

"Please, Star," I whispered, my words breaking because of my sobbing. "Please find it in your heart to forgive me."

I knew she wouldn't answer. She couldn't. But I had to keep talking to her. I had to hope that somewhere in there, she could hear me.

"We'll get him, I promise," I said, running my hands over her hair. "He will pay for this. Please, Star, wake up."

I didn't know how long these healing sleeps lasted. I knew she did them, but they all lasted different amounts of time, depending on her injury. This was completely different.

I was so worried about her, it was driving me fucking crazy.

"I'm so sorry, Star," I admitted to her again. "I'm more sorry than you could ever know."

So I sat there with her in my arms, trying to make things better by whispering comforting things in her ear. I rocked her back and forth, pressed her head against my chest.

What the hell, I had nothing else to lose.

"I love you," I whispered over and over again to her. "I love you so much. I've loved you for so long. I've been too scared to tell you. But I'm absolutely fucking crazy about you."

I declared my love for her, you would think that would be enough for me.

But it wasn't.

I had years of bottled up emotions inside of me. Things kept spilling out of my mouth. I didn't mean for everything to be said all at once, but she couldn't hear me anyway. So why not?

"I remember the first time I saw you," I said, chuckling and moving a strand of hair from her face. "You scared the shit out of me. You were so strong, so powerful. So fucking beautiful. I just had to know you. I couldn't stay away..." I tailed off, remembering her lips against mine. "And when you kissed me, my world was devoted to you in that instant. Shit, Star, you made me fall for you. You had me wrapped around your finger ever since then. I'd do anything for you. I'd even fucking die for you."

I held her to me so she wouldn't disappear. Something so fucking perfect couldn't be real.

"And then we got to know each other," I started again, sniffling. "And I fell more in love with you every single day. I learned so much about you. You hate scary movies, you love mustard. Cats are your favorite animals, and you have this little dimple..." I touched her cheek. "Right there when you smile. It's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. I'm absolutely crazy about you, Star. I can't even begin to explain to you how much you mean to me."

I poured my heart out. I told her everything about me. My parents, Bruce. My old life. Dick Grayson. I told her everything.

The fucked up thing about it was that she couldn't even hear me.

I looked at her face and smiled a teary smile. I pressed her forehead against mine.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," I whispered. "But I will make it right. I promise."

And I would, for her. Even if it fucking killed me.

**A/N: Well there it is! I'm SO SO SO SORRY about the late update. My life is consumed. Literally. SO BUSY. Haha. **

**Chapter 5 will be up next Wednesday for sure! Stay tuned!**

**P.S. I cried while writing this. Just an fyi.**

**Peace out!**

**-Sierra**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews and favorites! It really means the world to me. I am so happy to be writing about something that really means a lot to me. Now, if only they would bring back the real Teen Titans...*cries***

**I hope you enjoy Chapter 5! Happy Wednesday!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Teen Titans. If I did, the show would have never been cancelled and we'd be in season 58 by now.

**WARNING:** Rated M. Seriously. If you are not old enough to read it, don't. Fo' real.

Enjoy!

_Chapter 5_

_Robin_

5 days passed, and she still didn't wake up.

I sat beside her the whole time, talking to her. I held her in my arms, trying to coax her into waking up for me. Anything to open those beautiful emerald eyes of hers.

The others checked on me once in a while. They were still taking what I told them hard. Beast Boy in particular. He wasn't his usual cheery self. He wouldn't be until Star woke up.

She needed to wake up.

It was driving me fucking crazy, looking at her sleeping face. She didn't move once. If it wasn't for her steady breathing, I would have thought she was dead.

I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in that little head of hers. She was absolutely beautiful in her sleep. He mouth slightly open, her eyelashes casting shadows down her tan cheeks. Her chest slowly rising and falling, and her soft heart beats. I wondered what she was seeing as she slept, and I wondered if she was dreaming of me.

I needed to talk to her. I needed to make sure she was alright. I couldn't take it anymore. The guilt and the sadness were fucking killing me inside. How was I going to tell her what happened?

My stomach turned.

She had been asleep. She had no idea what Slade did to her. I had to tell her what he did...how, I had no fucking clue. I didn't know if I could.

"Robin?"

Raven's voice brought me back to reality. I tore my eyes from Starfire's face to look at her. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes were red and puffy. That's how we all looked lately. We were all heartbroken by what happened.

"What's up, Rae?" I asked. She slowly walked into the room and sat down next to me. Her eyes never left Starfire's face. She sniffled.

"I wanted to try something," she said quietly. "Slade said that she had no idea what happened...and that may be true. But maybe there's a chance that Starfire knew exactly what was going on."

I took in a sharp breath.

"So...there's a possibility that she could have heard and felt everything..." I trailed off.

Raven nodded.

"But couldn't stop it," she finished for me.

Somehow, that made it so much fucking worse.

"I know it sounds bad, Robin."

"Bad?" I asked her, hysteria rising in my voice. "No, Raven, it sounds fucking great!"

She ignored the venom in my voice and put a hand on Starfire's forehead. She closed her eyes.

"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos..." she whispered.

"Raven," I said.

She opened one eye to look at me.

"If you can..." I looked down at Starfire's closed eyes. "Please..."

"I know, Robin," she said. "I'll try to wake her up. We all want her awake just as much as you do."

I nodded and kept quiet as Raven continued chanting. Black energy soon wrapped around Starfire's body. Raven's chanting stopped and her eyes squeezed shut.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, nervous.

She didn't answer me. She was motionless, completely still.

Suddenly, she was flown accross the room, hitting the wall with enough force to crack the paint. She let out a scream as she hit the floor, shaking uncontrolably. I was torn between not wanting to leave Starfire's side and going to help Raven. I didn't know what to do. I was fucking terrified.

Raven sat up slowly and looked at me with tear-filled eyes. She shook her head as the sobs escaped her chest.

"She knew," she shakily whispered. "She could feel and hear everything he did to her. But she kicked me out before I could find out anything else."

The anger that consumed me was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I couldn't even speak. My hands curled into fists and my eyes closed. My breath became uneven. I was on the verge of pulling all my hair out. I opened my eyes long enough to look at her face, her eyes still closed. She felt everything. She heard everything. I was going to fucking lose it.

"How?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I guess that it happened before her mind was able to completely commit to her healing sleep," Raven answered me, standing up. "Her body was locked down, unable to move. But there was a part of her mind that hadn't fallen asleep yet. She was still awake, but she couldn't move or speak. It was like she was completely paralyzed."

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. I tried to take a deep breath. I had to keep my cool. I had to.

But Jesus, I didn't want to.

I wanted to hunt him down then and there. I wanted to fucking kill him. Make him suffer. Make him wish he was never fucking born. I wanted to watch him beg for his life.

No one messed with Starfire and got away with it.

"She kicked you out?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"She kicked me out of her mind before I could figure out anything else."

"So there was something she didn't want you to know?" I asked.

"Maybe...I'm not sure."

I put my head in my hands.

"I'm losing my mind." I admitted.

I felt her hand on my shoulder and I lifted my head to look at her.

"She'll be okay," Raven assured me. "She's the strongest person I know. She will get through this. She knows what happened to her. I assume her healing sleep is lasting so long because she is healing herself from the emotional damage she has endured."

I nodded.

"I promise, Robin," she said. "If she was strong enough to kick me out, she is going to wake up soon. She wants to tell us something. She just didn't want me to see it."

I gave her a half-hearted smile and she left the room. I was left alone with my own thoughts.

I was scaring myself.

What if she didn't wake up? What would I do? I wouldn't be able to function without her.

I was ripped from my thoughts by the alarm. The room flashed red and the noise of the alarm pierced my ears.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I hadn't thought about this...I didn't think about crime while Starfire was asleep. I had promised to never leave her side. But we were already down one Titan...and without me, we would be down two.

I didn't want to leave her. It physically killed me.

But I had to.

I ran my fingers through her hair and leaned down to kiss her forhead and rested mine there for a moment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I will be right back. I promise, Star."

And with that, I stood up and walked to her doorway. I stole one more glance at her before I painfully walked out of her room.

I fucking hated myself for leaving her. I wanted to run right back to her and hold her until those beautiful eyes opened. The last thing I wanted was for her to wake up and have no one there. All alone and scared and confused.

Raven was right. She was strong. Stronger than any of us. It still didn't make me feel any better.

I ran to the common room as fast as I could, eager to get this over with as soon as I possibly could. I saw the others gathered in front of the screen.

"What is it?" I asked curtly.

Cyborg sighed and turned to look at me. His face said all I needed to know.

Slade.

I finally had a chance to fucking make him pay.

"Man, maybe you should sit this one out," Cyborg said, taking a step toward me.

"Yeah," Beast Boy added. "Star's been hurt. She needs you here with her."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was my chance to put an end to the hell Slade had been causing. To stop him from hurting Starfire again.

"Starfire needs you to protect her," Raven said, looking at me in the eyes. "And to protect her, you need to make him pay. So he can't do this again."

Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at her in shock. I did, too. I wasn't expecting Raven to be on my side.

She wasn't on my side, though. She was on Starfire's.

"Promise me she will be okay here while I'm gone," I said to her.

Raven nodded.

"She will be fine, Robin," She said. "I promise."

That was all I needed to hear. Within seconds I was in the garage, starting up the R-Cycle. Then I was off. Raven sent me Slade's location on my communicator. The others weren't far behind me.

Raven promised she would be okay.

I had to believe her. It was all I had.

Before I knew it, we were at an abandoned building. I hopped off the R-Cycle and made my way towards the entrance. According to my communicator, Slade was inside.

I couldn't wait to hear him beg me to let him live. I wanted him to fucking suffer like Starfire suffered. I wanted him to hurt.

"Robin," I heard Beast Boy say behind me.

I turned to face him but didn't respond.

"Maybe...maybe we shouldn't just rush in there and try to take him down all at once. Maybe we should bring him to jail." He said, looking at the ground instead of me.

I crossed my arms, impatient.

"Beast Boy, he hurt Starfire in the worst possible way..." I started.

"I know that, dude," Beast Boy said. "And believe me, I want to kill him too. But...wouldn't that make us just as bad as Slade is? It wouldn't make us any better."

"I don't want to be better than Slade. I want to get even."

"Is killing him really going to make things even, Robin?" He asked, raising his voice now. "He still raped Star. Killing him isn't going to change that. What do you think Star will say when she finds out you killed someone?"

I just looked at him, fury building up inside of me.

"BB's right, man," Cyborg said. "Star wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want you to kill someone because of her."

"He raped her..." I said through gritted teeth.

"And he will pay for that," Cyborg said. "There's no way he will get away with hurting our Star."

Raven shook her head.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," she said.

I closed my eyes.

"Starfire is our top priority," I said. "If he so much as mentions going after her again, I don't want any of you to hold back. No more mercy. Am I clear?"

They nodded.

"I won't kill him," I said. "No matter how much I want to. Not this time. But I can't promise I won't after this. I can't promise I won't if he tries to hurt her again. I can't."

"We understand," Raven said.

"Alright," I said, turning to the entrance. "Titans, go!"

We crashed through the door with as much force as we could muster. The building was empty. I looked around frantically for any sign of Slade.

"Split up!" I yelled.

Everyone took off in seperate directions. I held my communicator at eye level. It said Slade was in here, but he was nowhere to be found. It didn't make any sense.

"Robin, you're going to want to see this," I hear Cyborg call from a far corner. I ran to his side, as did Raven and Beast Boy.

There was a communicator lying on the ground by our feet with Slade's signature "S" engraved on it. I kneeled down to pick it up and flipped it open.

"Hello, Robin," Slade's voice mocked me from the communicator. "I see you have located my communicator."

"Slade," I growled. "Where are you? Come out and fight."

Slade laughed. I wanted to fucking kill him.

"Do you not remember?" He asked. "I told you I wasn't done with her yet. I needed to get you all out of the tower. So I activated my communicator and let out a signal to your tower. You all responded, just like I thought you would. I must admit Robin, I thought you might stay behind with Starfire. I was wrong."

I gasped and my hand tightened around the communicator in my hands.

He was in the tower.

Starfire was alone.

I couldn't believe what I was fucking hearing.

I heard Raven tell Cyborg and Beast Boy something. I couldn't make out the words.

"I swear to God, Slade, if you touch her again-"

"It was so nice talking to you, Robin," Slade interrupted me. "But there is a princess that needs my rescuing. Thank you all so much for your cooperation."

The communicator crumbled in my hand.

I was losing my fucking mind. My world crashed around me. I felt a scream rip through my lungs but couldn't hear a thing. I dropped to my knees and pounded the floor with my fists, ignoring the pain shooting up my arms. I felt the hot tears pouring down my face.

Raven's hand was on my shoulder, then.

"Robin, let's go!" She yelled at me. "I promised you she would be okay. I'm not breaking that promise. Let's _go_!"

All I could do was let her encase me in her black energy along with Cyborg and Beast Boy. Before I knew it, we were in the tower.

"He's in here," Cyborg said, looking at the scanner on his arm. "He's almost in Star's room. We gotta move fast."

I ran as fast as I possibly could. My lungs protested, my legs wanting to give up. I heard the others running behind me.

It seemed like an eternity, but I finally made it to Starfire's room.

I kicked her door open, my bo staff ready in my hands. I was ready to beat his fucking head in. I was ready to fucking kill the no good son of a bitch.

"Get away from-" I stopped.

My eyes scanned her room.

We were too late.

She was gone.

"I'm sorry!" I heard Raven's muffled sob. "I'm sorry, Robin!"

My knees went weak.

I fell to the floor and cried. Cried like I'd never cried before. I let her slip through my fingers. I fucking left her alone. I fell for Slade's tricks again.

This was all my fucking fault.

Suddenly I heard something. A voice in the back of my mind. A voice I couldn't forget even if I wanted to.

Dick.

Bruce.

Go after her. She needs you.

And with that, I somehow gathered enough strength to get on my feet.

I looked at my team, broken and teary-eyed. We truly were losing our fucking minds without Starfire. We were nothing without her.

I was nothing without her.

"Titans," I said. "We are going to go after Slade. We are going to find Starfire and bring her back. We are going to find Slade and stop him." I looked at Beast Boy. "Absolutely no mercy."

He nodded, as did the others.

"No mercy," he repeated matter-of-fact.

"He's not getting out alive," Cyborg added.

I nodded and fought the need to break down again. I looked at Raven, who nodded back in response.

"Alright, then," I said, turning to the door. "Titans, go!"

**A/N: OH GOODNESS, SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN!**

**Haha.**

**Well that was chapter 5! I hope you all enjoyed it! It is still technically Wednesday. It's 11:4pm my time. I have to wake up in a little over 4 hours for work. Yay.**

**Enjoy your week! Chapter 6 will be up next Wednesday! Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Buh-bye!**

**-Sierra**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey, guys! I hope you all had a fantastic week! I just want to thank you AGAIN for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing! I'm feeling generous (plus I just REALLY wanted to write) so I decided to give you guys an extra chapter this week just for kicks. You deserve it! So, this chapter will be going up today, and I will upload another one on Wednesday like usual! Yay!**

**Just a fun fact, I do not celebrate Columbus Day, even though my State does. Being Native American, I find it very insulting that we celebrate such a day. Columbus killed and raped a lot of Native American women and children. And we celebrate him. He didn't even find America, by the way. AND HE DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS AMERICA WHEN HE CAME HERE. HE THOUGHT HE WAS IN INDIA. My goodness. Not only was he an asshole, but he was stupid as well. Middle School history class was all a lie. Sorry, rant over. Haha!**

**Enjoy Chapter 6! Chapter 7 will be up on Wednesday!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Teen Titans, sadly. If I did it would not be TV appropriate.

**Warning:** The usual. Language. Violence. Sexual content. Mature content. You've been warned.

_Chapter 6_

_Starfire_

The first thing I was aware of was the pounding in my head.

It struck me as odd, because I never recieved aches of the head like this after a healing sleep. I usually felt relief, but this time was much different. I tried to open my eyes but I could not. It would still be a few moments before I could.

The second thing I was aware of was the cold surface I was lying on.

I did not remember fully, but I recall falling asleep on my bed in my room. I did not know why I would be on something so cold. Perhaps the others had to move me for some reason.

The others. I hoped they were alright. I did not know how long I had been asleep, and for some reason it felt like I had been, as humans say, "out" longer than usual. Worry started to fill my chest as the seconds ticked by.

Then, the final thing I was aware of were the footsteps coming toward me.

I was confused, but I knew why. When awaking from a healing sleep, it takes a little while for your memory to return. I did not even know why I required the sleep to begin with. All I knew was that I was here, and I could not move nor remember much at all.

The footsteps stopped beside me and there was nothing but silence for several seconds.

In those seconds, everything came flooding back.

Slade had threatened me and my team, scared me senseless. That was why I required the sleep. While I was still somewhat awake, he had snuck into my room. He had violated my personal space and did rather inappropriate things to me while he believed me to be asleep. Then Robin interrupted and Slade had told him that he raped me...

Robin.

He had been so upset, so broken. He had believed Slade's lie. He had to know the truth.

There was something else, though. Something was still missing. I figured that it would come soon enough. Then, though, the thing that willed my eyes open was the fact that I needed to find Robin and tell him what really happened. That we would find Slade together and defeat him.

As my eyes slowly opened, I saw bright lights above me. My vision was blury and took a few moments to come into focus. I was in a place that was not familiar, which worried me. I did not know why I would be in a place like this. I was on a floor on my side, my cheek resting against my hands. I turned so I was flat on my back and rubbed my head. What was going on?

I heard someone clear their throat beside me, and I nearly had the attack of hearts. I had forgotten someone had walked up to me. I had been so lost in my memories that I had not noticed. I had figured that maybe it was Robin. I could finally tell him everything.

As I turned to look at the person standing over me, I soon found out how wrong I was.

I gasped and quickly stood, finding that was not the best idea. I became dizzy and stumbled over my feet, luckily finding a wall to lean against. I felt the hot energy of my starbolts around my fists, ready to attack.

"Slade," I growled at him.

"Hello, my dear," he said. "I trust you slept well."

"Where am I?" I asked, ignoring his comment.

"You are in my headquarters," Slade answered. "It's lovely, isn't it?"

"You are a monster!" I yelled at him, my eyes glowing green with anger. "What do you want?"

Slade chuckled.

"I want you."

I shook my head.

"I am not stupid, Slade," I said. "I know that it is not me you are after. It is Robin."

"Ahh, that's where you're wrong," Slade scolded. "Robin was my initial target, and I have had a lot of fun tormenting him. But I have noticed how strong you are. I did some research and learned your entire background. You have been through a lot, things that should have killed you. Broken your spirit. But they didn't. You're perfect for what I'm planning."

I gritted my teeth.

He knew everything about me. The torture. The agony. He knew my strengths and he knew my weaknesses.

"What are you planning?" I asked, impatient.

"You, my dear, are going to do everything I say," he responded.

"I will never obey you," I rebuttled.

"Oh, but you will."

I looked at him in disbelief. Who did he think he was?

"You see, if you don't, I will kill all of your friends. You know I will. I won't think twice about it. I never liked you Titans anyway. I would gladly watch the life drain out of their eyes," he taunted.

I shook my head.

"You are no match for us, Slade," I said.

"But I am," he countered. "With you here, the Titans are vulnerable. They are going absolutely insane without you. They are weak, powerless. They will be so easy to kill."

How long had I been away from my friends? From Robin?

I needed to see them again.

"And I bet right now, Robin would beg me to kill him," Slade hissed at me.

I snapped my head up to look at him.

"Well then," I said, standing tall. "It is you and I, Slade. I do not know what you want from me, but I can assure you that you will not get it."

"You would do that?" He asked. "You would risk the lives of your friends like that?"

He truly did know my weaknesses.

"I won't stop there, you know," he continued. "I will kill innocent people. Children, even. I don't care. With no Titans, no one will be able to stop me from killing more and more."

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to take deep breaths.

I could not let my friends endure so much danger. I could not let innocent people die because of me. I would rather spend the rest of my life hating myself. I would do what Slade said. For my friends, for the people of Jump City.

"What is it that you want from me, Slade?" I asked, defeated.

He walked over to me, standing as close as he possibly could without actually touching me. I could tell he was smiling beneath his mask.

"I want you to be my new apprentice," he said simply.

I fell to my knees and stared at the floor. That was what this was all about. He wanted a new slave, a new puppet.

And he wanted it to be me.

"Why me?" I asked.

"You are a worrier, Starfire," Slade said. "You have killed, and you are a living, breathing death machine. I can't wait to use your powers to my advantage."

I felt the tears in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I could not let Slade know he had broken me enough to make me cry.

"I will not kill for you, Slade," I said clearly.

I kneeled down to my level and grabbed my chin. He pulled my face up roughly so he could look into my eyes.

"You will do whatever I say," he spat at me. "Or they will die. Do I make myself clear?"

I did not say a word. I could not.

"Do I make myself clear?" He asked again, his tone growing impatient.

To save my friends, I gave him the answer he wanted.

"Yes."

"Good," he said and pushed my face away.

He turned away from me and walked to the other end of the large room we were in. I rose to my feet and rubbed at my aching chin.

"They will come for you, Slade," I said. "I know they will."

He chuckled.

"Let them," he said smugly. "Let them see what you have become."

My hands clenched into fists.

"I am not evil. I am not like you." I said.

"You are now my apprentice. You are mine. You will be just like me."

"I am not yours," I snarled.

"You are," he said, turning to me with a black bundle in his arms. "You belong to me now. You don't have a say in the matter. Unless you want your friends to die."

I closed my eyes to try to prevent the tears from escaping.

"What is it you wish for me to do?" I asked.

Slade thrusted the bundle into my hands and turned again to retrieve something from a nearby shelf.

"That is your new uniform. I expect you to put it on immediately. This is your earpiece," he said, turning and walking to me. He placed the small device into my hands as well. "You are to wear it at all times. It will be how we communicate."

All I could do was nod.

"Go put on your uniform, and then we will discuss your mission."

I turned away from him without responding. I made my way to the small bathroom and unwillingly undressed. A new wave of turmoil hit me with every piece of clothing I removed. When I was finished, I slowly put on my new uniform. It was a one-piece, black, leather suit that covered every inch of my body. It was very tight fitting, but flexible enough for me to move without trouble. I clipped the utility belt around my waist, though I was sure I would never use anything in it. I brushed the "S" marking on my chest with my fingertips and bit back the new tears that formed in my eyes. I pulled on the thigh-high black leather boots, placed my earpiece in position, and made my way back to Slade, who was waiting for me.

"Now, doesn't that look so much better than the old one?" He asked.

I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest.

"You still have not answered my question," I reminded him. "What do you want me to do?"

He turned to face three large screens on the wall, something I had not noticed before. I gasped as I saw four familiar faces appear on the screen.

"No," I whispered.

"It seems your friends are searching for you," Slade said, amused. He turned to face me. "I want you to show them who you are now. I want you to tell them that you are no longer a Titan."

I shook my head and glared at him.

"I will always be a Titan," I said matter-of-fact.

Within seconds, he was in front of me. His hand wrapped around my throat and he slammed me into the wall behind me. I struggled to breathe and my hands clawed at his arm, trying to break free.

"What did I tell you?" He hissed. "You belong to me now. You are mine. You will do what I say. Or they will die." He tightened his grip. "And you will, too."

Tears escaped my eyes as my vision started to blur. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I never felt so afraid before. I was sure I was going to die here.

"You will go to them, and you will show them the new you," he threatened. "You will attack them, and you will not say a word. If you say anything, I will end them. Do you understand me?"

I nodded weakly, and he dropped me onto the floor. I gasped as the air filled my lungs. Slade bent over and grabbed the front of my uniform, pulling me up to face him. My feet dangled, not able to touch the ground.

"You will not betray me like you betrayed your little friends, Starfire," he said.

"You..." I struggled, taking deep breaths. "You cannot make me harm my friends."

Slade slapped me accross the face, the pain making me scream out. I could feel the welt forming, and I knew that from the impact, there would be a bruise.

"You will do what I say," he said.

"I will not harm them," I said. "I would rather die."

He dropped me, then, and kicked me hard in the stomach, sending me flying accross the room. My back hit the wall hard, knocking the wind out of me. I coughed and tried to climb onto my knees. Before I could, Slade was there, and kicked me again.

"You stupid bitch," he said, grabbing me by the hair and pulling me up to my feet. I screamed. "You really don't understand, do you? If you disobey me, they will die."

He punched me, then. I tasted the blood in my mouth, and cringed. I couldn't stop the river of tears that were running down my cheeks. The punches kept coming, and I thought they would never end.

This was what I was. Slade's punching bag.

When he was finished, he dropped me onto the floor once again. I spit out the blood that was pooling into my mouth on the floor beside me. I could feel the piercing pain all over my face, my ribs, my back. I could only imagine what I looked like.

I rolled onto my hands and knees, gasping for air and crying. How could this happen? How was I going to survive this?

"Are you ready to cooperate?" He asked me, his back turned.

"Yes," I whispered.

"What?" He asked, turning and leaning down to pick me up by the hair again. "Speak up!"

"YES!" I screamed into his face. I couldn't handle another beating. I was losing all the control I had.

"Good," he hissed and dropped me again. "Now get up. You have to get going."

I somehow gathered enough strength to get onto my feet. I limped to the screens with my friend's faces on them, hating myself even more than I thought possible.

"Your friends will respond to crime, even if they are looking for you," Slade said, coming to stand beside me. "You are to steal this," a picture appeared on the screen of some sort of device. "It's a heat ray. You will steal it, and they will come. You will then use the heat ray to attack them. Understand?"

I nodded.

"I want the Teen Titans gone," he said. "Then we can begin our takeover of Jump City."

I felt sick to my stomach.

"Knowing that you have chosen to fight by my side will be more than enough to drive them away from here. I will never have to see their faces again."

I bit back my insults. I knew it would do no good to say anything.

"The exit is that way," Slade said, nodding to the left. "I can't wait to hear what happens. Remember," he leaned in so he was mere inches from my face. "One word, and they die."

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Alright," he said. "Go."

I turned and limped in the direction of the exit. Once I was out of sight and earshot, I took off flying into the sky. How I gathered enough happiness inside of me at that moment, I did not know.

I did know one thing, though.

I would die before my friends got hurt. There had to be a way to warn them about what Slade was doing without actually saying anything.

I touched my cheek with my fingers and winced. Once Robin saw me, he would know exactly what happened. All I could do was pray to X'hal that he would put all the pieces together before anyone lost their lives.

As I was flying to the location of the heat ray, I suddenly remembered the missing piece of information that I could not recall when I awoke from my healing sleep.

I rested my hands on my chest and landed on the nearest roof. I sank to the ground and sat there for a few moments, my mind racing. I could not believe it, and it somehow made the situation even more heartbreaking than it already was.

_"I love you, Star."_

Robin's words echoed in my head. Tears streamed down my face as a smile formed on my lips. I allowed myself a few more seconds of that, and when I was done, I stood up and looked at the clear blue sky above me.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them, they were glowing green.

"Robin," I said. "I love you, too."

And with that, I took off into the afternoon sky.

**A/N: Well there it is! Chapter 6! Starfire's POV is back! The violence is only going to continue with Slade, because it fits his character. Don't worry, though. I think we can all imagine what Robin's reaction will be once he sees Star's condition. OH SNAP.**

**Chapter 7 will be up on Wednesday as promised! I hope you enjoyed the extra chapter this week! Thanks for reading!**

**-Sierra**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, so first of all, I'm really really sorry that this chapter is late. I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL GET TWO CHAPTERS THIS WEEK. I've just been extremely busy and a lot has been going on. Sorry! Second of all, things are going to get a little heated. I'm going to start earning my M rating. So remember, you have been warned!**

**Enjoy chapter 7!**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans. Ugh.

**Warning:** Rated M. Sex. Violence. Language. Don't read if you don't want to encounter any of those things.

_Chapter 7_

_Robin_

I was losing my fucking mind.

Starfire was gone. We had searched everywhere, and we couldn't find her. There wasn't a nook or cranny that we hadn't checked. And still, there was no sign of her.

I let her slip right through my fingers. I hated myself.

It was so hard to keep myself under control. All I wanted to do was break down and beat something. Kick, scream, let my anger out on something or someone. But I couldn't. I couldn't because of my team. My city.

Starfire.

Internally, I was going absolutely mad. I was thinking of different ways to dismember Slade, along with what I was going to do when I saw Starfire again.

Luckily, as I was pacing around the common room contemplating Slade's demise, the alarm went off. Good. This was what I needed. Someone to use as a punching bag.

I turned to the computer and watched as the crime information popped onto the screen. Robbery by some no-name. Easy enough to stop, and I could unleash my anger. It was a win both ways.

As the other Titans gathered behind me, I imagined the robber as Slade. I imagined beating him until he couldn't move, until he couldn't breathe. I was so eager to just punch something, anything.

This guy picked a bad day to steal a heat ray.

"Robbery," I said, my back to the others. "Let's get this over with."

"Robin, are you sure you can handle this?" I heard Raven ask.

"Yes," I lied.

"Dude," Beast Boy started. "We're all freaking out because we can't find Star. And it's totally understandable why you're taking it harder than the rest of us. But..."

"But what?" I asked, turning around and crossing my arms.

Beast Boy shrunk where he stood.

"That's what I thought," I deadpanned.

"Look, man. Whoever this robber is has nothing to do with Slade. I'm almost positive. We don't want you taking all your anger out on this guy. Alright?" Cy-borg said.

I waved him away with my hand.

"Let's just stop him so we can get back to searching for Starfire," I said coldly.

I knew I was being a dick, but I couldn't help it. Starfire was the one who kept me calm, kept me stable. Without her, I was the cold bastard that I was before we formed the Titans. Before I met her.

I hated myself for letting her slip away, almost as much as I hated Slade for taking her.

"I sent the coordinates to your communicators," I said.

"Okay," Raven responded. "Let's go."

Cyborg and Beast Boy left the room first, followed by Raven and I. I stared at my feet as I walked. My mind was spinning with consumed anger and hatred. I knew I wasn't going to be able to control myself.

"Robin," Raven's voice murmered.

I stopped and turned to her. Her arms wrapped around her body, her figure small and defeated. Her eyes were closed and her signature hood was up, covering her face.

I didn't respond. I just crossed my arms over my chest and waited.

"Robin, I have a bad feeling about this," Raven said, her eyes still closed.

Suddenly, all my rage turned into worry.

"What is it?" I asked walking toward her.

"Starfire..." Raven whispered.

My breathing stopped and my heart skipped a beat.

"What about Starfire?" I probed.

She opened her eyes, then. They were sparkling with tears that were waiting to break free. This wasn't good. All my bottled up fury was about to break free, and it wouldn't be safe for anyone.

"Usually, I can feel her with me. Ever since we switched bodies that one time, we've always been connected," she sniffled as a tear slid down her cheek. "Even since she's been away, I could still feel her with me. It was the only thing keeping me sane, because even though she's gone, I've known she's been...okay."

"Raven, what are you saying?" I knew what she was going to say, but I needed to hear her say it. I was scared to think of what I would do once the words left her mouth.

"I..." She took a deep breath. "I can't feel her anymore. She's gone."

I took in a sharp breath and closed my eyes. I turned away from her and dug my fingers in my hair. When I exhaled, a growl escaped my lips.

I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't pretend everything was okay. I was done keeping my cool, done trying to be a hero. Without Starfire, I was going fucking crazy. So why not act crazy?

I was kneeling, my hands covering my eyes. I didn't remember how long I had been there, but Raven's hand on my shoulder was what brought me back to reality.

"Robin, that doesn't mean she's..." Raven couldn't finish the sentance. I didn't want her to. That word would never leave any of our lips. I refused.

I stood up quickly and got myself together.

"Let's go," I said.

She nodded and followed me out of the tower.

I hopped onto the R-cycle and couldn't help but think about how if Starfire had been there, I wouldn't have needed to. I would have smiled and reached my hand out for her to grab. She would have wrapped her fingers around my arms and held me tight, never once losing her grip. We would take the air together, not a care in the world. Flying with Starfire was like nothing else in the world. It was the best thing I had ever experienced.

Before I knew it, I was already driving. Cyborg following in the T-car not far behind me, and Beast Boy and Raven in the sky above us.

It was so wrong without her. It was so fucking wrong not seeing her in the sky along with Raven and Beast Boy. Her red hair glowing against the darkening sky, her green energy glowing around her entire body.

God, I just fucking missed her.

Luckily, before another wave of unbridled anger flooded my mind, I saw him.

I saw the robber before he saw me, which was a very unfortunate thing for him. I gritted my teeth and pushed the R-cycle to move faster. I needed something to hit. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him.

He heard me approach him, and stopped. He had his back to me, the bastard. He was taking special care to make sure I didn't see his face.

As I got closer to the robber, I soon realized that they were already hurt. They were favoring their right foot, keeping it hovering over the pavement instead of standing on it.

Good. They would be easier to catch.

They kept their distance, obviously not wanting to be captured. I saw the stolen heat ray in their left hand, and I had my motive. I couldn't let them escape.

I jumped off the R-cycle and took off running toward him. I was a little surprised to see him take to the sky and fly to the nearest rooftop, but the surprise was quickly replaced with anger. He wasn't going to get away.

Beast Boy and Raven quickly flew toward the rooftop and Cyborg jumped out of the T-car to climb the ladder. I grabbed a grappling hook out of my belt and shot it up to hook on the edge of the roof. I was quickly ripped from the ground and sent skyward, falling into a summer-sault that sent me to my feet as I hit the rooftop.

There we were, all four of us, against this one perp. He had to surrender. He didn't have a choice.

He didn't turn to face us, though. He was staring at the neighboring rooftop, contemplating whether or not he was going to go for it.

I wasn't going to let him.

"Put your hands in the air," I warned through gritted teeth. "You have nowhere to go."

The robber flinched at the sound of my voice. Good. Let him be scared of me.

"Turn around," I said.

No answer.

"I said turn around!" I yelled, getting angrier by the second.

"Robin," Cyborg warned.

I glared at him.

"Dude, just turn around. We won't give you any trouble. Just give us the heat ray," Beast Boy tried to reason with the robber.

I saw his shoulders slouch as he heard Beast Boy's voice, almost like they were taking a blow that we couldn't see. He shook his head and started flying toward the next rooftop.

"No!" I yelled and ripped another grappling hook from my utility belt. I shot it straight for the robber, the hook wrapping around his ankles. Before he knew it, he was pulled out of the air and sent smashing against the side of the building. I heard their cry of pain and it only made the adreniline running through my veins pump harder.

I pulled the line of the grappling hook until I saw him come over the edge of the roof. I dragged him toward me, anger flooding through me.

He somehow managed to twist out of the line and free himself without turning to face me. But he got close enough for me to realize that it wasn't a "he" after all.

Whoever this robber was, they were a female. Her black uniform clung to every curve of her body and her thigh-high leather boots came with dangerously high heels. As she stood in front of me, her back facing us, I could hear Beast Boy and Cyborg's intake of breath.

I didn't care. Man or woman, they were going down.

I charged her, tackling her and sending both of us flying off the building. She struggled in my arms, trying to break free, but I refused to give in. We hit the rooftop of the neighboring building hard, knocking the wind out of both of us. I heard her wheezing as she twisted to try to get out of my grip. In a rage, I forcefully turned her so she was on her back, my bo staff in risen and ready to strike.

"This stops n-"

I couldn't finish even if I wanted to.

Starfire.

There she was, her red hair sprawled out in silky waves. Her eyes squeezed shut, he hands covering her face.

The happiness was overwhelming.

"Star," I choked out.

She peeked out from behind her hands to look at me. Her beautiful emerald eyes bore into my soul. I dropped my staff and pulled her up into my arms. I heard her gasp a little, and I couldn't help but smile. Suddenly everything that happened didn't matter anymore. I didn't care that she had stolen the heat ray, or that she wasn't in uniform, or that the others were gathered behind us. In that moment, just those few seconds, it was just me and her. I didn't give a shit about anything else.

I couldn't stop the tears that were leaking from my eyes. I buried my face in her hair and held her as close to me as I possibly could, whispering her name over and over again. She had no fucking idea how much I missed her. She had no clue how crazy I was going without her.

I had already lost my parents. I wasn't going to lose her, too.

But as I pulled her away a little to cradle her face in my hands, all the anger came flooding back just as fast as it went away.

Her face was littered with cuts and bruises. Her lip was split open, and her left eye was black and blue. The memory of how she was limping earlier made its way into my head, along with how I tackled her off of the edge of a building. I saw myself wrapping my grappling hook around her ankles and smashing her into the brick wall. I remembered hearing her gasping for breath from the impact of our fall.

I had hurt her.

My hands fell from her face and into a limp pile on my lap. Her tear-filled eyes looked at me. They were coated in fear.

"Star..." I whispered. "Did...did I do this to you?"

She just shook her head. She closed her eyes and rested her hand over her chest. My gaze followed her hand. When she removed it, it revealed the symbol that brought all my anger out again. And the fact that it was on Starfire's body made it all so much worse.

Slade.

I reached a hand up to touch her face as gently as I could manage. It took all my control to keep myself from going absolutely insane.

Slade had done this to her. Slade had hurt her like this. Slade had put his hands on her.

"He...he did this to you, didn't he?" I asked, hurt beyond belief.

She nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled her to my chest. I tried to focus on my breathing. In and out. In and out. I was so close to snapping it was scary.

I would deal with Slade when I saw him. He would die for what he had done. We would make him pay. But right now, the only thing that mattered was making sure Starfire was okay.

"Star," I said softly, bringing her face up to meet mine. "Star, did he make you steal this?" I gestured toward the heat ray on the ground beside us.

She nodded.

"Please talk to me, Star," I begged. "Please. All I need is to hear your voice. I've been going crazy without you. I need to hear you say something. Anything."

She shook her head and looked at the symbol on her chest. That's when it all clicked.

He was blackmailing her. He beat her, and probably told her that if she talked to us, he would kill us. I would love to see him try.

He was trying to make Starfire his apprentice.

"He's hurting you," I whispered. "He's telling you he will kill us. Star, he can't kill us. I promise. Just please talk to me."

She shook her head again, fresh tears spilling from those beautiful eyes.

"Shh," I said, wiping them away, being careful of the cuts. "It's okay, Star. It's okay."

I couldn't help myself. I just had to. I had missed her so fucking much. I had been dreaming of doing it for years. I couldn't think of a better time to finally do it.

I leaned in, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her.

I was pleased and surprised to feel her immediately kiss me back. She tasted so fucking good. I had spent years of imagining what this would be like, and it was finally happening. I opened my eyes just long enough to see if the others were still there. When I saw that they weren't, I went back to focusing all my attention to the beauty I held in my arms.

I slipped my tongue in her mouth and was rewarded by her doing the same thing. It was a battle of dominance, our kiss growing deeper and deeper as the seconds ticked by. Before I was aware what was happening, I was hovering over her between her thighs, her back pressed against the roof. My fingers tangled themselves into her hair and tugged, tearing her lips from mine and giving me access to that long fucking neck of hers.

I placed little kisses along her neck and was pleased to hear her gasping for breath. I could feel her heartbeat accelerating. It was everything that I imagined it would be. Absolutely fucking perfect.

She pushed me away, twisting us around so she was the one straddling me. She bent down and locked her lips with mine, and I couldn't help but bring my hands up to feel her. That uniform really did fit her well. Jesus.

Then, as soon as it began, it stopped. She left me on the ground, gazing up at her. She had tears in her eyes as she stood above me, shaking her head.

"Star," I said, rising to my feet. "Whatever he's doing to you, he will pay for. I promise. I'm so sorry that we couldn't get to you in time..."

She placed a slim finger on my lips to silence me. She leaned in and pressed her lips against mine once more, and when we parted she lingered there for a while. I could feel her hot breath on my face and I ached to wrap my arms around her again. I felt so empty without her.

"You don't have to go," I whispered. "I'll protect you."

She smiled a sad smile and slipped a small folded piece of paper in my hand. I was about to look at it when she kissed me again.

This time, when she pulled away, she stepped back. I reached a hand out to her, frozen in place.

"Please," I said in barely a whisper.

She smiled through her tears and mouthed "goodbye" as she took off into the sky.

I had never felt so alone.

I fell to my knees and cried. Cried like a little fucking baby.

I unfolded the piece of paper and tried to read her dainty handwriting through my tears.

_Slade is in the old mill. Let us end him together._

_I love you as well._

_-Starfire_

A smile made itself to my lips as I read the last line over and over again.

_I love you as well._

I rose to my feet and took out my communicator.

"Titans," I said into the microphone, my voice stern. "I've got Slade's location. Let's fucking finish this."

**A/N: I am SO SO SO SO sorry! I know I promised an extra chapter last week. But this week you will get your extra chapter on Friday! Sound good? I'm SORRY!**

**And it will be even better, because you will see what happens to Slade! And I will FULLY earn my M rating! YAY!**

**Stay tuned for chapter 8, loves. You're the best!**

**-Sierra**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is your extra chapter this week! I really hope you enjoy it. It's my favorite chapter so far! I'm also going to be splitting the Points of View in this chapter, so half of it will be in Starfire's POV and half will be in Robin's. I figured it was definitely needed.**

**I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN THE TEEN TITANS! I hate saying it.

**WARNING:** Okay guys, so far it's been mostly language (and the little almost-sex scene, but that wasn't nothin') but this chapter is going to contain a lot of violence, and maybe even a little smut. And the usual language. It's going to be heavy. So. Needless to say, if you shouldn't be reading this, don't. I'm going to earn my M rating, dammit.

_Chapter 8_

_Starfire_

The rage that consumed me was almost painful.

Words could not express how badly I wanted to take Slade down. I had wanted to since he threatened my friends almost a week ago. Since he laid his hands on me.

I knew, though, that my friends wanted to just as much as I did. I knew that they should get that opportunity.

So I waited.

When Robin saw me, his reaction made my heart sink. It physically made me sick. I did not think Robin would react in such a way. I did not know he would let his guard down that much in front of our friends. I hated not being able to tell him that Slade did not rape me, or that Slade threatened to kill them all. I wanted to tell him that all the bruises and the cuts only made my need to kill Slade stronger, and that he did not have to worry, but I could not.

Luckily for me, Robin figured it out on his own.

I knew Slade had been watching the entire thing. I was not as stupid as he believed me to be. I wanted him to watch. I wanted him to know that we were all coming for him.

I wanted him to know that he was going to die.

I was aware of the consequences. I was not going to come out of this injury free. Slade was going to try to kill me. I just had to be hopeful that my friends would come to us before he was successful.

I knew the risks, and I was willing to take them.

I was willing to die for my friends, my city. My home on Earth.

Robin.

When he kissed me, X'hal, my body felt as if it caught aflame. My world did the spinning and I was left absolutely breathless. It was everything the movies said it was like and more. It honestly took me by surprise, but I was not about to ruin the moment. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me.

It took all of my strength to be able to pull away from him.

It was not the right time. He was still so emotional from seeing what Slade had done to me, and I did not know if it was what he truly wanted. My Robin, so full of worry and control, would have had to fight with himself in order to kiss me. I did not want him to make a choice he only made out of pure emotion. It was not like him.

But maybe it was.

I could only hope that someday, at the right time, he would decide to kiss me again.

As I was flying to the old mill, I brushed my fingers against my lips. The electricity from the kiss was still coursing through them with enough intensity to make my head spin. I could not help but smile at the feeling. It was definitely something I could get used to.

I could never get enough of Robin. That was why I was going to fight so hard to protect him.

I now understood what the Batman meant by love, though I did not completely agree with him. Now that Robin and I had confessed our feelings for each other, it made everything so much different. I was constantly concerned about what he was doing, if he was alright. I knew Robin must have been going through so much emotional turmoil while I was away, and the thought of that made me wince. I was a liability, as was he. We would always look out for each other, and the Batman thought that would only provide a weakness.

I did not agree.

With love, two individuals come together to form one. Double the strength, double the intensity. Love is what brings out the best in people, and together, I knew Robin and I could do anything. And with the rest of the Titans, we would be unstoppable.

Before I knew it, I was at the old mill. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I had forgotten. Suddenly, everything came back all at once. The pain Slade had caused me before would only be worse. He would try to kill me. He would torture me.

I was alright with that, as long as he did not harm my friends.

I took a deep breath and entered the mill, lighting a starbolt to be able to see my surroundings.

As I approached the room that I had been in before, I realized that I was much more afraid than I had originally thought. It was a difficult thing to accept: the fact that you may actually die. I shook my head.

I had to hold on to the fact that the others would come in time. That Robin would come in time.

It was all I had left.

I stopped in the center of the room and landed noiselessly on the floor. I scanned the area around me, and made sure to keep absolutely still so I did not make a sound. I could not hear anything. I could not see anything to indicate that Slade was there.

It looked as if I was alone, but I knew I was not.

It was terrifying.

Without warning, there was a burning pain in my side. I let out a shriek and collapsed to the floor. I gripped my side and gritted my teeth. I held back the tears that were threatening to pour from my eyes. I took in a shaky breath as I lifted the hand that had been gripping my side to my face.

Blood. So much blood.

I whimpered at the sight of it, but I did not cry. I refused to cry. But X'hal, the pain was absolutely excruciating.

I heard footsteps coming toward me to my right, and I turned to see Slade walking slowly to stand over me. I growled at him and tried to scramble to my feet.

I didn't realize how much blood I was losing until I slipped in it and came crashing back down to the floor.

Slade laughed at me.

"You really thought they would save you?" He mocked. "You really thought _you_ could save _them_? You can't even save yourself!"

I tried to rise to my feet again, but I could not. The pain was horrendous. I clutched at my side again, and I could feel the warm blood oozing in between my fingers. I glared up at Slade.

"You will not win," I said. "They will come, whether I'm still alive or not. They will find you. And you will fall."

He revealed the gun, then, and that was when I realized that I had been shot. He had shot me in the side, and suddenly I was hyperaware of the bullet that was lodged deep into my skin.

He could easily kill me now if he wanted to.

He kneeled next to me so that he was to my level. It was so hard to breathe, and I wanted so badly to scream at him. I knew that it would only take more air out of my lungs, air that I could not afford to lose.

He grabbed me by the hair and pulled my face to his so that he could whisper in my ear. I cried out in pain.

"You are going to die here," he whispered sadistically. "You will die, but I want Robin to watch."

No.

If Slade killed me in front of Robin, Robin would finally fall.

And the Titans would follow.

"You..." I struggled to find my voice. "You will not defeat them."

He threw me back down to the floor, my head slamming against the hard floor. My vision blurred as I saw him stand up again. He pointed the gun at me, and I did not have the strength to try to move.

"I don't have to, my dear," he said. "You will do that for me."

He pulled the trigger, and I heard the loud gunshot before I felt the pain. He shot me in the shoulder, the bullet entering and then exiting through my body. I screamed in pure agony. I could not help it. I cried.

He was going to torture me.

I just had to hold on.

_Just hold on..._

His boot connected with my stomach, causing the wound on my side to throb and bleed even more than it already had been.

My screams were the only thing I could hear.

I could not focus on anything. The world was spinning, and I could not see anything but blurred figures around me. I could feel blood oozing from my shoulder.

"Robin..." I whispered. "I am so sorry."

_Just hold on..._

_Hold on..._

I kept repeating it to myself as Slade continued to kick me.

_Just. Hold. On._

* * *

><p><em>Robin<em>

All I wanted was to get Starfire back.

It hadn't even been an hour since I saw her, all battered and bruised, and my body already ached to see her again. I just wanted to make Slade pay for what he had done to her.

What he had done to me.

I remembered our kiss. Fuck, that kiss. It couldn't have been more wrong, but it was so fucking right. I had been waiting to do that for so long, and to finally do it was the best feeling I had ever experienced. To finally just grab her and kiss her and show her how much I loved her was just fucking amazing.

Now I wanted more.

After everything she had been through, after everything that was about to happen, I was determined to make her mine in every way possible.

She was everything I ever wanted in a woman: beautiful, smart, sexy, sweet. She was absolutely perfect.

She had me wrapped around her goddamn finger, and I didn't mind at all.

Starfire was something else.

She fucking terrified me.

She had this thing about her, and I wasn't exactly sure how to describe it. She had the ability to put the fear of God in you, and then turn around and become the most innocent thing you'd ever seen. She was confusing, abnormal. She wasn't typical.

But Jesus, that's why I loved her.

The way she walked, she could take on an army. She could look at you and make you pool into a puddle on the floor without even batting a damn eyelash. She didn't take any shit from anyone. Tough as nails. A full-blooded worrier.

All of that, though, wasn't what scared me shitless.

She made me feel things I had never felt before. I lived my whole life based on control of not only myself, but the people around me, too. She made me toss all that out the window. The hero disappeared. And though I would never admit it, she brought out the best in me.

The loss of control, that's what scared me.

But God those emerald eyes and that brilliant red hair was enough to make me want to throw being a hero to the fucking wind.

You know, there's a time where every man has to fight for the things they love. I never thought I would ever face that fact, because I was determined to force such a thing out of my life. Heroes don't love. I fought for people every damn day.

But because of her, I had something to fight for. Something that could be used against me.

I had two voices in my head.

I could hear Bruce. I could hear his fucking voice telling me what an idiot I was.

_"Never fall in love with anyone, especially a teammate."_

_"Never let your guard down like that. Don't give someone the opportunity to break you."_

Then I could hear my mother.

_"Richard. You deserve to be happy more than anyone on this Earth. No matter what, you will always make the right decisions. Do what makes you happy. Do what your heart says is right."_

The world does some fucked up shit to you sometimes.

Might as well go out swinging.

"Are you guys ready?" I asked, growing impatient.

"I'm all good," Cyborg said.

"I'm ready," Beast Boy joined.

Raven just looked away, avoiding eye contact.

After I explained the situation, she seemed to take it the hardest out of the three. Being an empath, it made sense.

"Raven?" I asked.

She nodded slowly, eyes still closed.

"Alright," I said, hopping on the R-cycle. "Let's move."

I couldn't shake the bad feeling that was coursing through my veins the whole ride to the mill. It was driving me insane. I kept looking up at Raven, knowing that if she felt anything wrong with Starfire she would let me know. But still, I couldn't get over it.

As if on cue, Raven stopped cold in the air and had a look of pure horror on her face.

I whipped out my communicator, unable to stop and turn around. There was no time.

"Raven," I said. "What's going on?"

It took longer than I was comfortable with, but finally, she responded.

"She's hurt," she struggled to get the words out. "She's hurt bad, Robin."

All the blood drained out of my face and it took all of my concentration to keep the R-cycle on the road.

"Hang on, Rae," I said. "She'll hang on. She's strong. Let's just get there and get her out."

I was still trying to convince myself of the same thing.

It seemed like an eternity before we got to the old mill. But when we finally got there, we wasted no time in trying to find Starfire.

Beast Boy transformed into a bloodhound and we followed him as he found Star's scent.

I knew it was minutes, but it felt like hours before we heard the screaming.

Oh God.

Starfire.

I knew it was her before I could even see her, but I had never heard her scream like that before. It sounded like she was being fucking tortured. I was frozen in place, unable to move. I tried, Jesus I tried. But I couldn't.

Then I heard the gunshot.

I fucking lost it.

"STARFIRE!" I screamed, taking off running toward the sound.

I heard the other Titans behind me, but I didn't give a shit. I needed to get to her. I needed to save her.

I needed to fucking kill Slade.

I ran as fast as I could, but it still didn't feel like fast enough. Every second I spent running was a second that could be taken off her life.

Finally, I found them.

I saw her, lying on the floor, her chest barely rising and falling. Her eyes were open, staring at nothing. Her hair was sprawled out around her head.

And there was a puddle of blood underneath her, growing bigger by the second.

"Star..." I choked, stumbling and falling to my knees. I heard Raven scream behind me, and Cyborg and Beast Boy gasped.

I managed to gather enough strength to crawl beside her, tears pouring down my cheeks and merging under my chin. I wrapped my arms around her, ignoring the blood that was staining my uniform. She was bleeding so much. I saw the wounds: A bullet through the shoulder, a bullet lodged in her side, and a bullet through her left leg.

She was losing so much blood.

"Star..." I whispered. I shook her slightly, her eyes fluttering. "Star, please. You need to hold on."

"Just hold on," she whispered, smiling slightly.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Raven..." I said, my voice shaking. My whole body was failing me. She was dying. She was dying, and it was my fault.

Raven appeared beside me, and I heard her intake of breath.

"Can you do anything?" I asked, desperately holding her in my arms.

"Robin..." She said, doubtful.

"You have to try," I begged. "Please, Raven. Try. I...I can't..."

I fucking broke down.

Through my sobs, I felt Raven's hand on my shoulder. I could hear her telling me she would try everything she could. I knew she would.

I couldn't lose her. I couldn't let her go.

I heard distant clapping from the other side of the room. I lifted my head to see Slade come out of the shadows, slowly clapping his hands. I heard him chuckle.

"Bravo, Titans," he exclaimed. "This is such a wonderful show!"

The anger that consumed me was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I looked at Raven, who nodded, and gently placed Starfire into her waiting arms. I placed my hand on Starfire's cheek.

"I love you," I whispered. "You can do this. Fight for me, Star. Don't you dare give up."

I stood up, then, and walked to where Beast Boy and Cyborg stood.

"Slade," I said, low and stern. "You've fucked with me for years. You've attacked me and my team, held me captive, terrorized my city. All of that, though, can't even begin to compare to what you've done to me now. I have spared you, in spite of being a hero. After everything Batman has taught me, I know killing isn't something that you do just because someone pisses you off. But now," I laughed, a little crazy chuckle. "Now, you've fucked with my family. The one thing in this world that I have that's worth living for." I looked him straight in the eye, then.

"You're going to die, Slade. I'm going to fucking kill you."

And with that, with Beast Boy and Cyborg at my side, I lunged at him.

This ended _now_.

**A/N: Well there you go! Your extra chapter! Yay!**

**Sorry for uploading it a day late, Fanfiction was being weird. It didn't upload when I thought it did. Huh, odd. Haha.**

**This chapter is my favorite so far! I love writing in both POVs! The rest of the chapters will most likely be written like this one, with both Robin and Starfire's point of view!**

**I hope you all enjoyed chapter 8!**

**Chapter 9 will be up on Wednesday! Happy Saturday!**

**-Sierra**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you're all having a fantastic week. Here in Maine, it's getting pretty chilly. I am in denial, though. I'm still buying tank tops. I think I have a problem.**

**Maine. The lovely state of Maine. What can I say? It's cold.**

**Anywho, I really hope you have been enjoying ****_Not About Angels _****so far! I have gotten a few questions about the title. Why is it called ****_Not About Angels_****, you ask****_? _****I can't answer that until the last chapter, because then it will all make sense. I will tell you that it is a song (omg really?). Yeah, kill me. Oh well. Look it up. Maybe then you can figure it out on your own!**

**Not About Angels- Birdy**

**The story, though I hate to say it, is dwindling down to its end. I know. It's tragic! Don't fret, though! We still have a few more chapters to go! And I am open to a sequal if you wish. But I am working on a brand spankin' new fanfic that I'm slowly but surly falling in love with. ****_Not About Angels _****will be hard to beat, though.**

**Anyway, enjoy Chapter 9!**

**Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN THE TEEN TITANS. MY GOD.

**Warning:** The usual. Please, children. Refrain from reading (even though I can't stop you). It's not right, you sick, sick people.

_Chapter 9_

_Starfire_

Pain.

So much pain.

It was consuming me, trying to convince me to give up.

I could not. I would not.

But it was so strong.

_"Starfire."_

Raven?

_"Starfire, you have to listen to me."_

All I wanted to do was sleep. Close my eyes. Maybe if I just closed them for a moment...

_"Star, please. You have to keep your eyes open. You have to stay with me."_

I could not respond. My world was slowly fading away.

There was so much blood. I could feel it soaking through my uniform. There was no way an ordinary human would be able to survive this much pain.

_"You can't do this to us. You can't do this to him."_

Him. Robin.

Oh, Robin. Where were you now? I could feel my eyes flutter, though I had no control of them anymore. I was a victim to my own body. I was fighting as hard as I could.

But I was losing.

_"Starfire."_

I could not fight any longer. I could not take any more pain. I had tried so hard to stay alive, but I knew that death was a possibility. I accepted it. It was alright.

_"Starfire, don't you dare give up!"_

I wished I could respond to her. I wished I could tell her that everything would be okay. I wanted her to know that I loved her. I wanted her to tell Robin I loved him.

_"Stop giving up! Starfire! Starfire, fight! You have to fight!"_

Darkness flooded over me like a warm blanket, comfortable and inviting. I was so close to the end, and suddenly, I was not afraid any longer.

_"Star."_

Robin...

* * *

><p><em>Robin<em>

Sometimes, killing is the right thing to do.

I knew it went against everything that I stood for. I knew I would never live it down, and that I would forever be known as the "hero who killed" or some shit like that.

But I didn't care.

That's the thing. If you're actually saving more lives by taking one life, doesn't that make it okay?

To me, in my frame of mind at the moment, yes it did.

Slade had tortured the most important person in my life. She was dying in Raven's arms. The only thing I had was hope that Raven could heal her in time to save her. I was putting all my faith in that, and I knew that if it didn't work...

Well. If it didn't work, I could consider myself fucking dead, too.

After everything he had done, after everything he had put us through, it was time for it to stop. And the only way to know that he would stop was to kill him.

I wouldn't stop until Slade was dead. I refused.

He knew how to get to me. He laughed at me as I ran at him, and it drove me fucking insane. I knew that Cyborg and Beast Boy were with me, and would back me up. But I couldn't help but feel like this was between me and Slade.

He hurt me. He hurt Starfire.

This was my fight.

It may have been stupid, wanting to take him on my own. But I couldn't help it. He had hurt me beyond belief. I wanted to make him hurt.

That wasn't so hard to believe, right?

Before my bo staff connected with his head, I stole a glance at Starfire. Raven was holding her, shaking her. She was covered in Starfire's blood. Her eyes were fluttering, and Raven was yelling at her. Why was she yelling at her?

That thought was erased as soon as I heard the "crack" of Slade's head.

His cry of pain only made me want to hurt him more. It was so satisfying seeing him on the floor, holding his head in his hands. I felt the smile growing on my face as I walked toward him. I didn't feel sick for it. Hell, I didn't even feel bad about it. All I felt was pure satisfaction.

"What, Slade? Not going to fight back?" I taunted him, stopping at his side.

He laughed.

"Robin, by killing me, all you're going to do is become just like me," he responded, looking up at me.

All that did was make me angrier.

"No, Slade, that's where you're wrong," I said, hitting him again with my staff. "I'm not killing you for nothing. I'm not even killing you for me."

"Then what are you going to kill me for?" He asked, doubtful.

I hit him again.

"I'm killing you for Starfire. For what you've done to her. You've beat her, raped her, you've..." I couldn't say it.

"Foolish boy. You can't even come to terms that she's going to die, can you?" He said, chuckling. "She's about dead, now, Robin. And instead of spending her very last moments with her, you're here. Trying to kill me."

"Shut up," I snarled, hitting him again.

He spat blood onto the marble floor.

"Oh, Raven?" Slade called. "I know your fancy powers very well. You can sense her, can you not? You can tell us the moment she takes her last breath?"

"Shut up!" I yelled again, striking him once more with my staff.

"Or better yet, can you tell us how much pain she is feeling right now?" Slade asked. "You're an empath, I know you can feel every agonizing-"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, and tackled him.

I landed on top of him and started beating him with my fists. I lost count of how many times my fist connected with his face. All I remembered was the blood that was on my knuckles, and the gurgling noise of what I assumed was Slade choking on his own blood.

Then I heard Raven screaming.

"Starfire! Starfire, you have to listen to me!" She screamed.

I hit Slade one last time, letting his limp body fall completely to the floor. I wrapped my hands around his throat and squeezed, seeing the life fade out of his eyes.

"Star, please! You have to keep your eyes open! You have to stay with me!" Raven was in hysterics.

I tore my eyes away from Slade to see Raven saking Starfire, her hands fluttering over body as if she didn't know what to do.

Starfire's eyes were closed.

Oh no.

"You can't do this to us! You can't do this to him! Starfire!"

Suddenly it was as if my life had turned into a slow motion picture. I couldn't move fast enough. Everything around me seemed to mock me in an agonizing slow manner.

I wasn't going to lose her.

I couldn't live without her.

I tried to run, but the floor seemed to suck me in. I fell to my knees. All I could do was stare at them.

"Starfire, don't you dare give up!" Raven yelled.

Tears filled my eyes and I felt them fall. I was hoisted up by Cyborg and Beast Boy, and they silently dragged me over to where they were.

"Stop giving up! Starfire! Starfire, fight! You have to fight!" Raven was crying.

I fell to the floor as the others sprawled around me. I looked at Raven, her cheeks stained with tears and blood, and then to Starfire. Her eyes were closed. Her chest was barely rising and falling. Her beautiful hair was a tangled mess around her. There was so much blood. The wounds were no longer open, due to Raven's healing. But still...she had lost so much.

No. It wasn't going to end this way. It wouldn't.

I couldn't let her die.

"Star," I whispered.

That was when her chest stopped moving altogether. I couldn't hear her breathing anymore.

"No!" Raven screamed, her voice like a sword ripping through my skull. Beast Boy took her by the shoulders and picked her up, leaving Starfire on the floor.

No.

No no no no _no_.

There were no words for the pain that was racing through me. I was in denial. I couldn't believe it. I had to find a way to stop it.

I scrambled over to her and held her in my arms. I shook her over and over again. I pressed my lips to her forehead, her ear, her nose, her lips. I spoke softly and prayed to whatever God there was to bring her back.

There was silence.

"Starfire, please, baby," I cried, my tears falling onto her face. "Please come back to me. Don't leave me like this. I can't live without you, Star. Please don't leave me."

My shaking hands stroked her face and her hair, trying anything I possibly could.

"Please," I begged. "Please, Star. I love you."

My sobs shook my entire body, and I buried my head into her neck. I could hear how mangled and desperate they sounded. I clutched her to me, refusing to believe that I had lost her.

Just like I lost my mom. Just like I lost my dad.

My Starfire, so innocent, so pure. So fucking perfect. I could go on all day about her. She was absolutely terrifying and beautiful and so selfless it hurt. I could stare at her for hours. I could talk to her about anything. She was the most courageous person I knew, and she was my best friend.

She was the best of us all.

No. No. I would not think of her like she was dead. There had to be a way.

"Take me instead," I yelled to the walls. "Please. Just take me instead! I just want her back! Please!"

I was torturing myself.

"Please," I whispered, pressing my lips to Starfire's forehead as my tears pooled from my eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Starfire.<em>

I believe I saw my life flash before my eyes.

I recall seeing Blackfire and I playing as children. Galfore spinning me around in a circle, the two of us laughing hysterically. My parents arguing about things that seemed so silly at the time. The Citadel. The Gordanians. The Psions. Earth. Beast Boy telling the bad jokes, Cyborg playing the video games. Raven and I doing the meditation on the roof.

Robin.

Robin and I on the wheel of farris, fireworks. Robin telling me he loved me.

Our kiss.

Slade's blackmail, his torture.

There was a light, and it shocked me at first. It was so inviting, it was asking me to step into it. Begging me to come home.

I was going to, truly I was. But something stopped me.

I did not belong here. I belonged with the ones I loved.

I belonged with Robin.

I could feel him, I could tell he was all around me. I felt his heartbeat, and his lips pressed against my skin. I was hyperaware of his tears falling onto my face, and I wanted so badly to reach up and wipe his tears away.

I wanted to tell him that I was the okay, and that we would be alright.

_"Please, Star," _I heard him whisper, his voice raw from screaming and crying. _"Don't leave me."_

And with that, I somehow managed to force myself away from the light. I needed Robin. I wanted Robin.

I gasped as air filled my lungs and my eyes snapped open.

* * *

><p><em>Robin<em>

My mind was racing as I held her in my arms, so fucking still. She wasn't breathing. She wasn't moving.

All my instincts told me she was dead.

But my heart wouldn't believe it.

"Please, Star," I begged one last time. "Don't leave me."

When you love someone, you'd die for them. You can't picture a damn thing going on in your life without them in it. The thought of them leaving is the most painful thing you can ever fucking imagine. And it was happening to me.

I refused to live without her.

I'd choose to die first.

Then, suddenly, I heard her gasp for air. Her gorgeous emerald eyes shot open as she coughed. They were filled with tears and they searched for me.

I had never been so fucking happy in my life.

"Oh my God," I heard Raven say, relieved.

I was stunned.

She smiled a weak smile that was only for me and slowly reached her hand up to my face. She wiped my tears away with her fingertips, so gentle I wouldn't have believed she had done it if I hadn't seen her with my own eyes.

"I would never leave you, Richard," she whispered.

I didn't know if it was because she was alive, or because she said my real name, but I broke down. I hugged her to me and cried into her hair. I was so happy. I could die happy right now.

I couldn't speak, though I wanted to. I didn't have the words to describe how I was feeling.

Relieved, ecstatic. Overjoyed. Blessed. Happy.

So fucking in love.

I knew right then that I would spend the rest of my life with this girl, and I would finally find happiness in this shitty world we all live in.

I couldn't say anything, but in the end, didn't have to.

Instead, I pulled her away just enough to smash my lips against hers.

I couldn't get enough. My hands found there way to her hair and my lips molded themselves against hers. It was a frenzy, and it was so fucking perfect.

When I finally found my voice, I used it.

"I love you," I whispered in between kisses. "God, I love you, Star,"

"I love you too," she responded and kissed me even harder.

A cough was what pulled me away from Starfire. I looked up to see Beast Boy standing above us, his face wet with tears.

"Um..." he started. "I know I'm ruining the moment and everything, but...could I...maybe...get a hug from Star?"

I smiled and nodded as Beast Boy tackled Starfire to the ground.

"I thought I lost you," I heard him tell her as she stroked his back in a comforting manner.

Soon, Raven and Cyborg joined to tell Star how much they loved her. I decided to let them have their moment. After all, they had almost lost her too.

I let my mind wander on the fact that I had finally stopped Slade from ever hurting her again. She could wake up in the morning and know she was safe. We could finally start our life together as a couple without worry or fear. And even though I killed him, I still felt like a hero. I smiled to myself.

Then, out of curiosity, I began walking over to where Slade was. I couldn't wait to dispose of his fucking body. I couldn't wait to tell Starfire that she had nothing to worry about.

As I approached where he was, I stopped dead in my tracks.

I gasped in horror.

Slade was gone.

Then suddenly, everything went black.

**A/N: Oh no! Slade's not dead! Why oh why would I do that to you guys? I'm such a bitch. Goodness gracious. I just couldn't let it all end just like that! Slade wants his apprentice, and he's hell bent on getting her! You all must hate me.**

**Starfire's not dead, though! I gave you that! She is hurt pretty bad, though. **

**Next chapter will be up next Wednesday! I hope you all enjoyed chapter 9! I'm assuming this story will be about 15 chapters long, so we're coming up on our climax next chapter! YAY!**

**I know what you're thinking. What the hell was this chapter then? This seemed pretty climactic!**

**You have no idea. It's about to get really really real. Hold on to your pants, duckies. Fo' real.**

**Oh, and remember to check out the song _Not About Angels_ by Birdy! That's the song I named this story after, so check it out! Maybe you can take a guess on what's going to happen! I don't own that song, by the way. Just figured I'd point that out.**

**Stay tuned for chapter 10!**

**Have a great week!**

**-Sierra**


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